Entered into what God was doing

Romans 4:3 Abraham entered into what god was doing for him and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.

Ah, Romans, Paul's longest letter (that's why it's first after Acts) and many say his most complete statement of theology. I know what he is talking about here resonates with me, and my experience of conversion some 25 years ago. I placed myself, my life, in God's hands and it has felt right ever since -- still rich in pain and suffering, loss and challenge, and yet right. How to even explain that? I can point to particular moments of surrender, where I really let down, and let go, and then experienced God taking me on a new journey, a new adventure. What I am struggling with now is to do this on a daily, or even hourly, basis. How do I surrender minute by minute so that I can fully enter what God is doing each moment of my life? So I can flow with the changes and not get caught up in my own agenda?

I am finding help with this task these days through the practice of mindfulness, and the teachings of the Shambhala path, a secular approach to this Buddhist practice, that keeps echoing with reminders of the Christian path. When I can pause and be present in this moment, recognizing and accepting all its circumstances, that is a kind of surrender. Acceptance of what is, whether good or bad, pleasing or distressing -- and whatever my reaction to it is! -- this is a kind of surrender. And I think in that way I can enter into what God is doing. Because, first of all, what God is doing is keeping existence going, and whatever is is whatever God has brought into being. When I can remember to take that moment, that breath, that pause, I often find a grace and a clarity: clarity about what it is that I'm doing to follow God's call, and the grace of joy, fulfillment and gratitude. It makes (as in forms or creates) my day.

Prayer: Dear God, Help me weave this simple practice into the daily tapestry of my life, so that you can claim your rightful place, and so that I can respond to your call minute by minute, not just year to year. Amen.

He gives you something to give away

2 Corinthians 9:10 This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives.

This verse really pulled me up short. I am so aware of God's generosity in my life, and this calls me to recognize to what use God wants me to put these gifts -- I am to give them away to others, so that they can realize the fullness of life God wants for them.

I am reminded of the example of Catherine of Siena. She is described as pouring herself out on those in need. The Mother Theresa of her day, she attended to the poor and dying in the streets of Siena, and contemporary observers describe her going days without food or rest, living on air, and on her love for others, her Christian call. She describes at one point exchanging her heart of stone with Christ's human heart of flesh and blood, and with that heart of compassion she reached out to everyone in need. She even called Popes and Bishops to account for their lives!

Do I have it in me to be a Catherine of Siena? Hardly. I've already long outlived her (she died at about 37), and clearly have a long way to go before I pour myself out to the needy of this world. This verse calls me to look at what I do have and see how I can use it in service to the needs of others. With the destruction of Haiti in the news, and the relief flooding in to that impoverished, devastated country, one obvious thing I can do is give money. And I do. But I also look to my other gifts, gifts of education and training, gifts of compassion and insight, of listening, of writing, and others I may not even be aware of. I am called to look for ways to pass those gifts along as well. Like the dead sea, which accumulates toxic salt because there is no outlet, our gifts can prove toxic if we don't freely give them away. Giving produces a beneficial flow, where gifts from others flow in to fill their place. So it is in giving and receiving that we experience Christian community.

Prayer: Dear God, You have showered me with blessings. Teach me how to give them away, so that I may experience the service that is perfect freedom, participate in the building of Your Kingdom and receive the blessing of Your Grace. Amen.

This wide-open spacious Life

2 Corinthians 6:11 Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life!

Wow, it's been a month! That's maybe a bit too wide open and spacious? I can see I may be coming to the end of this blog, or maybe I should just broaden it out a bit? At any rate, I am determined to see this read of The Message, Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of the Bible, through to the end, in roughly the order the original scriptures were written.

To Paul. I think to a lot of people, the Christian life looks small and restrictive. They see a lot of rules and think that it's all about self-denial, self-sacrifice, duty. In some ways, you could say they are right! What they don't see, though, is the tremendous sense of joy and freedom that arises when you decide to let go of trying to satisfy your own desires and needs and live the way Christ calls us to, reaching out to others in service and gratitude.

The thing is, spaciousness requires a certain structure; there's an architecture, if you will, to spaciousness. A pitcher, for example, is an object, but when it is empty, it is also an open space waiting to be filled. The pitcher which surrounds the space gives it structure and form, shows us how big the space is. They say that icebergs are often unimpressive in size because, though they are vast, there is rarely anything to compare them to, and that lack of comparison diminishes our perception of their size. In order to see or experience spaciousness, we need points of comparison, boundaries, some kind of scaffolding, so that we can actually perceive and experience the spaciousness that is there. The "rules" of Christianity, the call to live our lives in certain ways -- like not judging lest we be judged, and loving our enemies and feeding the hungry and clothing the poor, all the things Jesus talks about in the Gospels -- provide the structure within which we can experience the spaciousness and freedom of the Christian life. I think any spiritual path is similar in this regard. You have to do the practices, set up the structure, in order to find that experience of freedom.

What I am talking about here, of course, is spiritual freedom, not necessarily physical freedom. Freedom is not, as someone famously said, license. The person who has no structure in their lives, who sleeps and wakes whenever they will, who follows no routines, who lives, in short, a chaotic life, is not free. That person is like a leaf blowing in the wind, at the mercy of whatever whims or urgings prompt them on to the next step. Such a person is unlikely to accomplish much, or be of service to anyone, and is likely to experience life as unpredictable and unreliable, full of sadness and suffering. But once someone has a firm scaffolding in spiritual practice, an understanding of the kind of life to which Christ calls us, and is able to put in place these life-saving routines, there is a spacious freedom that arises, accompanied by such joy and gratitude in the simple act of living one's life, that is hard to describe to someone who doesn't feel it, too. These are the fruits of the spirit, and they arise spontaneously, organically, out of the disciplines of the Christian life. They are the result of grace: we can't manufacture it ourselves, but we can prepare and cultivate the soil of our souls, create the best possible conditions for its possibility, and then wait and see what happens.

Prayer: Dear God, You have shown us the path to true human freedom and fulfillment. Give me the wisdom, discipline and longing to follow the path you call us to, that I, too, may experience the joy and freedom you promise. Amen.