Job 42:5 I admit I once lived by rumors of you, now I have it firsthand -- from my own eyes and ears.
What answers all of Job's complaints, dissipates his anger and finally shuts him up is the direct experience of the Presence of God. All the time that he had lived before his trials as a good man, a righteous man, he was following the rules, but he never experienced God's presence,so it was all at some remove, all as if by rote. Now he sees and hears, he knows God, doesn't just know about God. And that makes all the difference. In Getting Involoved With God, Old Testament scholar Ellen Davis points out the transformation that Job has gone through by noting the differences in how he is presented as a father. In the last paragraph of the book, which one could easily skim past without taking much notice, she points out two unusual things. One, though none of Job's sons are named, his three daughters are, and the names are wild and fanciful. Two, he leaves his daughters an inheritance along with his sons. These are acts almost of recklessness in a highly patriarchal culture, certainly against the norm and against the grain for the "respectable" culture of his day. Just the fact of having children, having lost all his previous children in one terrible accident, demonstrates Job's new willingness to live with risk. As Professor Davis puts it, "Job, this man of integrity who was once so careful, fearful of God and of the posssible sins of his children, becomes at the last freewheeling, breaking with custom to honor daughters alongside sons, bestowing inheritances and snappy names. The inspiration and model for this wild style of parenting is, of course, God the Creator. Job learned about it when God spoke out of the whirlwind." Only the transformative experience of meeting the Presence, the Ultimate Mystery can account for this change in Job.
What about you? Do you live by rumors of God or by direct knowledge? Do you know about God, or do you know God? Prayer and other contemplative practices are all about being in the Presence of God, of experiencing firsthand something of God's power in our lives. This is what has made a difference in my life, has given me the experience of carrying God's peace within me, sometimes at the most difficult of times in my life. This is what transforms, gives me power to endure, even to thrive, in the face of difficulty, which inspires me to write this blog so that others might get some sense of what God's Presence might do in their lives. It's not about being perfect, or being protected from every danger, like some superstitious amulet that's supposed to ward off evil. No, it's about having the power and the presence and the fortitude to wade through the most difficult times we face without being taken over by them; it's about finding our own definition of who we are through God's grace, rather than as the victim of our circumstances; it's about resilience in the face of calamity, like the resilience of Job, who is able to start again after all he had been through, to have more children in the face of terrible loss, to risk it all for love. It is loving in the face of risk, enduring in the face of disaster, thriving in the midst of destruction that are the fruits of an active, yearned for connection with God, the true God, the Creator, the Whatever It Is that sustains us in the face of all we go through, that brought us into being and draws us to Itself through all of our days, our Alpha and Omega, our beginning and end, our Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, our God, our loving, merciful God.
Prayer: Dear God, I am awed by Your Presence and Majesty. Help me to risk it all as I follow Your path, to offer it all to You that You may lead me to the deepest fulfillment of my soul. Amen.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Where were you?
Job: 38:4 Where were you when I created the earth?
We have heard Job's complaints, and his friends harangues; now, finally, God speaks in answer. And what a question! Where was he, indeed? Where were any of us? Not anywhere close, is the answer. Apparently, even our physics and mathematical calculations completely breakdown as we get close to what has come to be known as "The Big Bang". I will never forget reading in a book called Wrinkles in Time about the discovery of cosmic radiation, which is some of the data that supports the idea of the Big Bang, that we could not say anything about the beginning itself, only at a ten-millionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a second later, that is 10 to the minus 42nd power. That is a time frame utterly beyond anything I can imagine; it is a number which has no actual or practical meaning to me, only a mathematical one. And the author had the temerity to say that the moment thus described was the first moment about which we could sensibly talk. Such a time frame is the farthest thing from sensible, in my book!
I guess the point is, whatever that beginning was, however we like to think we know something about it, it is utterly beyond our experience or capabilities. I have been told that even the first sentence in Genesis actually begins in the middle! So, even the Bible doesn't dare to say anything about that first moment, whatever it was. Contemplating such ideas, whether through theology or science, is one of the ways that I sometimes get a hint, just a glimpse of the immensity of God, of how far beyond my comprehension, or any possibility of knowing, God is. The paradox is that at the same time, God is as close as my breath; some would even say that God is my breath. It's like putting the enormity of the universe as we know it against the utter tininess of that fraction of a second I described above. What is it that can encompass such extremes? Only God. God -- incomprehensible, beyond all knowledge and thought, yet as intimate as my skin, utterly transcendent and immanent at the same time. And in the face of that, like Job, I have to shut my mouth and fall down in awe.
Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for the marvelous and amazing discoveries of science, which give me some hints at the wonder of Your Creation. Help me to understand that even as I study to know You more, full knowledge is always out of reach, and to bow before The Mystery. Amen.
We have heard Job's complaints, and his friends harangues; now, finally, God speaks in answer. And what a question! Where was he, indeed? Where were any of us? Not anywhere close, is the answer. Apparently, even our physics and mathematical calculations completely breakdown as we get close to what has come to be known as "The Big Bang". I will never forget reading in a book called Wrinkles in Time about the discovery of cosmic radiation, which is some of the data that supports the idea of the Big Bang, that we could not say anything about the beginning itself, only at a ten-millionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a second later, that is 10 to the minus 42nd power. That is a time frame utterly beyond anything I can imagine; it is a number which has no actual or practical meaning to me, only a mathematical one. And the author had the temerity to say that the moment thus described was the first moment about which we could sensibly talk. Such a time frame is the farthest thing from sensible, in my book!
I guess the point is, whatever that beginning was, however we like to think we know something about it, it is utterly beyond our experience or capabilities. I have been told that even the first sentence in Genesis actually begins in the middle! So, even the Bible doesn't dare to say anything about that first moment, whatever it was. Contemplating such ideas, whether through theology or science, is one of the ways that I sometimes get a hint, just a glimpse of the immensity of God, of how far beyond my comprehension, or any possibility of knowing, God is. The paradox is that at the same time, God is as close as my breath; some would even say that God is my breath. It's like putting the enormity of the universe as we know it against the utter tininess of that fraction of a second I described above. What is it that can encompass such extremes? Only God. God -- incomprehensible, beyond all knowledge and thought, yet as intimate as my skin, utterly transcendent and immanent at the same time. And in the face of that, like Job, I have to shut my mouth and fall down in awe.
Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for the marvelous and amazing discoveries of science, which give me some hints at the wonder of Your Creation. Help me to understand that even as I study to know You more, full knowledge is always out of reach, and to bow before The Mystery. Amen.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Exploiting the Unfortunate
Job 24:3 They rip off the poor and exploit the unfortunate
I had supper the other day with a friend who is housing an Iranian woman who is applying for asylum in the United States. This woman joined us, and she was gracious and intelligent, serious and eager to learn. After only about 9 months here she spoke English better than I speak any foreign language, even after years of study, and was unafraid to ask when she didn't understand a word or a question. She is working as a nanny for a family with 3 boys under 4, and my friend had offered her a bedroom for the week-ends so she could gain some power in her work situation, by having some place else to go. My friend spoke with passion about her embarrassment for her country in how this woman had been exploited at every turn. I don't know the details of her situation, but clearly something terrible had required her to abandon everything, including grown children, to seek safety on our shores.
What is it that makes people feel they can take advantage of people who are in vulnerable positions, rather than feeling called to support and protect them? I know women who are normally fair-minded and yet expect their child's caretaker to work endlessly, be ever at their beck and call, foregoing time off to serve their needs. I remember a friend whose nanny couldn't show up one day because her own child was sick, which meant my friend had to scramble to deal with her own work situation. She actually, honestly asked me if she shouldn't fire this woman because she hadn't shown up for work. Yet, she would have been incensed if someone from her job had suggested that she be fired for missing work because of an ill child! Perhaps it's just easier to see when we ourselves are being exploited, and it's not so clear when those who are more vulnerable than we are are being exploited through our own actions.
I've focused on women in my examples, but I know there are equally many examples in men's lives. The point is that scripture is clear that we are to protect the vulnerable, take care of the "widows and orphans" as the prophets say, which stands in for all the vulnerable people in a society. I know that I try to be fair and open in my dealings with others, particularly those who provide various services for me, and it's often a balancing act of feeling that my kindness is being exploited, vs. exploiting the other for whatever their vulnerabilities may be. Can I examine all my dealings with others and be sure that I am not exploiting anyone? Maybe not, but I can ask God to help me live out the intentions of my faith, which is to deal with everyone in a respectful, fair-minded way.
Prayer: Dear God, I pray for those who may be exploited as a result of my actions, and ask your forgiveness. Moreover, I pray for Your Spirit to guide me, to open my eyes to the ways I exploit others and lead me in alternate paths, so that everyone I touch can feel the warmth of Your Love and Care. Amen.
I had supper the other day with a friend who is housing an Iranian woman who is applying for asylum in the United States. This woman joined us, and she was gracious and intelligent, serious and eager to learn. After only about 9 months here she spoke English better than I speak any foreign language, even after years of study, and was unafraid to ask when she didn't understand a word or a question. She is working as a nanny for a family with 3 boys under 4, and my friend had offered her a bedroom for the week-ends so she could gain some power in her work situation, by having some place else to go. My friend spoke with passion about her embarrassment for her country in how this woman had been exploited at every turn. I don't know the details of her situation, but clearly something terrible had required her to abandon everything, including grown children, to seek safety on our shores.
What is it that makes people feel they can take advantage of people who are in vulnerable positions, rather than feeling called to support and protect them? I know women who are normally fair-minded and yet expect their child's caretaker to work endlessly, be ever at their beck and call, foregoing time off to serve their needs. I remember a friend whose nanny couldn't show up one day because her own child was sick, which meant my friend had to scramble to deal with her own work situation. She actually, honestly asked me if she shouldn't fire this woman because she hadn't shown up for work. Yet, she would have been incensed if someone from her job had suggested that she be fired for missing work because of an ill child! Perhaps it's just easier to see when we ourselves are being exploited, and it's not so clear when those who are more vulnerable than we are are being exploited through our own actions.
I've focused on women in my examples, but I know there are equally many examples in men's lives. The point is that scripture is clear that we are to protect the vulnerable, take care of the "widows and orphans" as the prophets say, which stands in for all the vulnerable people in a society. I know that I try to be fair and open in my dealings with others, particularly those who provide various services for me, and it's often a balancing act of feeling that my kindness is being exploited, vs. exploiting the other for whatever their vulnerabilities may be. Can I examine all my dealings with others and be sure that I am not exploiting anyone? Maybe not, but I can ask God to help me live out the intentions of my faith, which is to deal with everyone in a respectful, fair-minded way.
Prayer: Dear God, I pray for those who may be exploited as a result of my actions, and ask your forgiveness. Moreover, I pray for Your Spirit to guide me, to open my eyes to the ways I exploit others and lead me in alternate paths, so that everyone I touch can feel the warmth of Your Love and Care. Amen.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
All the Experts
Job 12:1 I'm sure you speak for all the experts, and when you die there'll be no one left to tell us how to live.
Job is speaking sarcastically to his friend Zophar, who has come to provide comfort in Job's distress, and provides no comfort at all. When things aren't going well, it seems there is no shortage of advice. But is that what people need in their times of trouble? Do we who give advice really think they don't know what to do? That people can't figure out for themselves how to proceed? When tragedies happen, like they have happened to Job, most people know what to do; the difficulty is in figuring out how to be with whatever has happened, and all the feelings that are stirred up. So the problem then becomes, for those who visit the afflicted one, how do I sit with all the stuff that comes up for me in the face of this tragedy? Because if I really see the truth of it, I have to admit it could happen to me, too, and that's downright scary. To get around that, I make it somehow the other person's fault. In Job's day it was, "you must have sinned, you must have done something wrong for God to punish you this way." Today, it's, "they must not have eaten the right things, didn't have the right habits, they must have done something to invite this illness or tragedy." By blaming the victim, I can convince myself that their fate is under their control, and therefore, I won't have to face whatever it is because I'll do it right. Because the scariest thing to admit is that we have no control over our fates, ultimately, none at all. And how to sit with that is what the spiritual path is all about.
Prayer: Dear God, You have created a world for us that is full of dangers and uncertainty. Help us place our trust in You to get us through whatever we have to get through in this life without surrendering to the numbness of fear. Amen
Job is speaking sarcastically to his friend Zophar, who has come to provide comfort in Job's distress, and provides no comfort at all. When things aren't going well, it seems there is no shortage of advice. But is that what people need in their times of trouble? Do we who give advice really think they don't know what to do? That people can't figure out for themselves how to proceed? When tragedies happen, like they have happened to Job, most people know what to do; the difficulty is in figuring out how to be with whatever has happened, and all the feelings that are stirred up. So the problem then becomes, for those who visit the afflicted one, how do I sit with all the stuff that comes up for me in the face of this tragedy? Because if I really see the truth of it, I have to admit it could happen to me, too, and that's downright scary. To get around that, I make it somehow the other person's fault. In Job's day it was, "you must have sinned, you must have done something wrong for God to punish you this way." Today, it's, "they must not have eaten the right things, didn't have the right habits, they must have done something to invite this illness or tragedy." By blaming the victim, I can convince myself that their fate is under their control, and therefore, I won't have to face whatever it is because I'll do it right. Because the scariest thing to admit is that we have no control over our fates, ultimately, none at all. And how to sit with that is what the spiritual path is all about.
Prayer: Dear God, You have created a world for us that is full of dangers and uncertainty. Help us place our trust in You to get us through whatever we have to get through in this life without surrendering to the numbness of fear. Amen
Monday, June 8, 2009
Risk delight
Ecclesiastes 1:18b The more you know, the more you hurt.
I'm not sure what "The Preacher", which is how the Greek work Ecclesiastes is usually translated, or "The Quester" as Peterson, writer of The Message Bible calls him, means by this statement, but it immediately made me think of global communication. We now know not only about the terrible things that are happening in our own neighborhoods (I get an e-mail "Crime Watch" from my homeowner's association which lists every crime in the area -- this may be more information than I want!) or cities and towns -- witness the police log in every local newspaper -- but worldwide. We hear about explosions in India, tsunamis in Indonesia, bus accidents that kill children in Canada, all that is going on all over the world: wars, famine, murder, natural disasters, illnesses of all kinds, relocation of refugees fleeing oppression, as well as the horrors of repressive regimes. For one who's call is to be compassionate, it is a tsunami of pain that can be almost literally overwhelming. It's easy to shut down or cut it off.
I believe, though, that the spiritual path asks something else of us: the courage and the stamina to look such suffering square in the face and accept it. Not accept as in become resigned, but accept as in recognize and acknowledge the fact of it. Compassion means to stand with others in their pain. And that is meant to move us to act on their behalf in whatever way we can. Spirit in our lives is not about protection or immunity from pain and difficulty; its purpose is to enable us to step more deeply into life and all its difficulty as a means of transformation.
And I can't resist another poem, which captures so well the paradox between having compassion for all the pain in the world and living in the joy of the Christian path.
A Brief for the Defense
by Jack Gilbert
Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
Are not starving someplace, they are starving
Somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
Be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
Be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
At the fountain are laughing together between
The suffering they have known and the awfulness
In their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
In the village is very sick. There is laughter
Every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta.
And the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
We lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
But not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
The stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
Furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
Measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
We should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at theprow again of a small ship
Anchored late at night in the tiny port
Looking over to teh sleeping island: the waterfront
Is three shuttered cafes and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
Comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
All the years of sorrow that are to come.
Prayer: Dear God, You have given me a life of joy and a heart of compassion. Help me to walk this tightrope of Your Love, balancing the inexpressible Joy at the heart of Your Walk, with the depth of compassion for all Your Suffering World. Amen.
I'm not sure what "The Preacher", which is how the Greek work Ecclesiastes is usually translated, or "The Quester" as Peterson, writer of The Message Bible calls him, means by this statement, but it immediately made me think of global communication. We now know not only about the terrible things that are happening in our own neighborhoods (I get an e-mail "Crime Watch" from my homeowner's association which lists every crime in the area -- this may be more information than I want!) or cities and towns -- witness the police log in every local newspaper -- but worldwide. We hear about explosions in India, tsunamis in Indonesia, bus accidents that kill children in Canada, all that is going on all over the world: wars, famine, murder, natural disasters, illnesses of all kinds, relocation of refugees fleeing oppression, as well as the horrors of repressive regimes. For one who's call is to be compassionate, it is a tsunami of pain that can be almost literally overwhelming. It's easy to shut down or cut it off.
I believe, though, that the spiritual path asks something else of us: the courage and the stamina to look such suffering square in the face and accept it. Not accept as in become resigned, but accept as in recognize and acknowledge the fact of it. Compassion means to stand with others in their pain. And that is meant to move us to act on their behalf in whatever way we can. Spirit in our lives is not about protection or immunity from pain and difficulty; its purpose is to enable us to step more deeply into life and all its difficulty as a means of transformation.
And I can't resist another poem, which captures so well the paradox between having compassion for all the pain in the world and living in the joy of the Christian path.
A Brief for the Defense
by Jack Gilbert
Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
Are not starving someplace, they are starving
Somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
Be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
Be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
At the fountain are laughing together between
The suffering they have known and the awfulness
In their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
In the village is very sick. There is laughter
Every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta.
And the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
We lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
But not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
The stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
Furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
Measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
We should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at theprow again of a small ship
Anchored late at night in the tiny port
Looking over to teh sleeping island: the waterfront
Is three shuttered cafes and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
Comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
All the years of sorrow that are to come.
Prayer: Dear God, You have given me a life of joy and a heart of compassion. Help me to walk this tightrope of Your Love, balancing the inexpressible Joy at the heart of Your Walk, with the depth of compassion for all Your Suffering World. Amen.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Wanting what they don't have
Proverbs 21:26 Sinners are always wanting what they don't have; the God-loyal are always giving what they do have.
Here are a couple of hints about the happy life: gratitude and generosity. If I'm only focused on what's out there, what I don't have, what is not yet fulfilled, then I'm living in a half-empty life, constantly reminded of life's deficiencies and dissatisfactions. The sad thing is that even if or when my life expands, I don't notice because I am so fixed on what I don't have yet. It's a limitless category! But if I can start to appreciate and be grateful for what I DO have, suddenly my life begins to fill up with satisfaction and contentment, it becomes half full. As my life grows and expands, my gratitude grows also, until it overflows into generosity; when I truly live in gratitude, I need less and I want everyone to enjoy something of what I possess: not my things, but my experience of a joyful life.
Prayer: Dear God, Let me be grateful every day for the many blessings of this life, and let me live that gratitude through a generous spirit. Amen.
Here are a couple of hints about the happy life: gratitude and generosity. If I'm only focused on what's out there, what I don't have, what is not yet fulfilled, then I'm living in a half-empty life, constantly reminded of life's deficiencies and dissatisfactions. The sad thing is that even if or when my life expands, I don't notice because I am so fixed on what I don't have yet. It's a limitless category! But if I can start to appreciate and be grateful for what I DO have, suddenly my life begins to fill up with satisfaction and contentment, it becomes half full. As my life grows and expands, my gratitude grows also, until it overflows into generosity; when I truly live in gratitude, I need less and I want everyone to enjoy something of what I possess: not my things, but my experience of a joyful life.
Prayer: Dear God, Let me be grateful every day for the many blessings of this life, and let me live that gratitude through a generous spirit. Amen.
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