Wisdom 13:9 for if they had the power to know so much that they could investigate the world, how did they fail to find sooner the Lord of these things?
The author is talking about how people make gods out of the things of creation: animals, the elements, sun, wind -- and marvels that seeing the beauties and wonders of nature, they don't make the leap to worship the Inspirer of creation. He makes the point that people worship beauty because that's what they see, and since God can't be seen, they go no further. This is very much the scientific/materialist worldview: anything that I can't see, hear, feel, touch, either personally or through many of the magnificent instruments that people have made to extend their senses, like microscopes and telescopes, is not real. The problem is when these same standards are applied to the religious sphere; they just don't fit! Science can tell us so much about the world we live in, how it works, what happens when you do different things, various causes and effects, and the more science we know, the more we can marvel at what an amazingly complex and interconnected world we live in. Science cannot tell us how we should live our lives, or what actions we should take, or why there is anything at all. It can tell us about possible effects of various decisions, and perhaps that is a guide as far as it goes, but often in interpersonal relations we must make decisions in spite of their effects: think of politicians who need sometimes to stand against public opinion to do something that may be unpopular in the short run, but will be better for everyone in the long run. So there are many areas of life that science cannot touch.
So if science cannot find God, does that mean God is not "real"? Or that God doesn't "exist"? I suppose it depends on how you define those words. If real means having material form like a blanket, then God is not real. And neither is love, compassion, hatred, beauty, fear, inspiration, the power of art to move us, any number of things that would make life poor indeed if we had to do without them. On the other hand, all of these things do have effects on us. Can we see the effects of God? When I sit and meditate, I open myself to God's Presence, and that has real effects on me. Buddhist monks would not necessarily label this Presence "God"; they might use a term like Buddha nature or something. Or Awareness, the Witness, any one of a number of terms. But seekers of God, in the Christian tradition and others, have used all sorts of these kinds of practices to touch a place that is Holy and Sacred, that takes one to the core of Being, that is non-material, and yet changes bodily functions, and provides a foundation for changing a person in his/her relationship to the world. Placing God at the center of my life in this way keeps me from the folly of thinking that I am in control of the world, or even my life, reminds me of my proper, rather insignificant place in this vast universe, yet holds out for me the vision of living a life in sync with God's plans for me, so that I might find my greatest fulfillment in the use of my gifts in service of the world and its people.
So does that mean God is "real"? Through these experiences, I have come to an inner knowing, an inner reliance on this Presence, this Awareness that transcends all things and inspires me with Divine Power. It allows me to be present with others as they face life's trials, and draw strength from the Source. It renews and refreshes me when I am discouraged. It connects me to a deeper Purpose in the face of all my best laid plans which often disappoint. I think of the Marshwiggle, a character from The Silver Chair, one of the Narnia series by C.S.Lewis. The Marshwiggle and his companions are in Underworld, a world below the surface of the earth, and they are being bewitched by a Queen who derides their descriptions of a world on the surface of the earth by calling on logic and reason. The Marshwiggle declares that he doesn't care if the world on the surface is real or not, he would rather live in that vain hope than be content with such a poor world as the Queen presides over. With that declaration, the spell is broken, and they are able to break out of Underworld and find their way to the top again. I suppose it's not the first time that something that's not "real" in a scientific sense has had real effects: think of patriotism, the ideals of justice, freedom, equality, all of which have had tremendous effects in our world. I do want to say, however, that "God" in this sense, is not just an idea to me. It is a palpable reality that undergirds my every action, guides my life and in whom I find my Being. I may not be able to say what is right for other people; there certainly seem to be a lot of people who get along fine without it. But for me, it is the bedrock, the core, the foundation of my life. What do you think?
Prayer: Dear God, I offer you this meager apologetic for Theism. I ask only that it be a way to touch people with Your Presence, that they may find their way to the Joy you offer. Amen.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Gospel of Inclusion
No scripture today. I happened to catch a show on MSNBC called "To Hell and Back" about Carlton Pearson, an African-American Evangelical in Tulsa Oklahoma. I had originally heard the story on This American Life (www.thislife.org episode called Heretics) and had been thrilled by this story. A prominent preacher, a darling of the Evangelical fire-and-brimstone preaching-hell-to-get-people-saved movement, Carlton is pastor of a megachurch, a leader and a mover and a shaker. Watching a show on African refugees who are starving, seeing the distended bellies of their starving children, Carlton is moved by their plight. But everything he has been taught tells him that these non-Christians are condemned to hell because they have not accepted Jesus as their personal savior. In his internal reflections, he hears God saying to him, "Hell is not a place in the afterlife, but right here on earth. It is what human beings do to each other." He reshapes his thinking, becoming convinced that if Christ saved humanity on the cross, then he saved ALL humanity on the cross, and begins preaching the Gospel of Inclusion.
If he had known what was going to happen, he might have thought twice, but that is how the Holy Spirit works sometimes. He is viciously attacked, labeled a heretic by the movement that had praised him, his church attendance erodes until he is facing bankruptcy with a few stalwart followers. In the face of this massive failure, he is invited to begin anew at a local Episcopal church, and discovers the gift of the Spirit in what for him would have been unthinkable company: homosexuals, AIDS victims and others marginalized in his community. There he was, sitting with the sinners, just as Jesus did, and finding a resurgence of the Spirit in his life and in his mission.
I love this story, but what pushed me to write this blog on it wasn't just to relate the story. You can hear that better through the radio program, or the treatment on MSNBC. What urged me to respond was another interview on the MSNBC program, of one of the Evangelicals who condemned Pearson as a heretic. He says, "Why go to church if you're not trying to save people from hell?" If everybody's already saved, what's the point? he seemed to be saying. That question really roiled around my head and refused to lie still. This is how I answer it:
God, as Jesus, through the cross, has redeemed all humanity from sin, and called us all to be the beloved, cherished children of God that we were intended to be, but most people have no experience of this reality. Abuse, oppression, mistreatment, hardship, all of the sorts of experiences that humans heap on one another, convince most of us that we are bad, shameful, unworthy, worthless, in fact, that God couldn't possibly love us. And we operate out of that awareness, that vision of reality. "I am angry, depressed, hateful, hurtful; I don't matter, in fact, I am actively bad, making the world worse because of my presence." The kind of actions that come from that kind of identity-formation perpetuate the very horrors that created it in the first place. If everyone truly understands, knows at a deep level, actively experiences God's love, that has such a transformative power that it can stop generational abuse in its tracks. And I'm not talking about the way people often speak of parental love, "Oh, I know my parents love me" with the implication that it doesn't really count. I am talking about the love of God invading our hearts, pervading our entire bodies, our minds, the whole range of our experience, and becoming a truth as powerfully felt as that which says I am alive. If people can have that experience, can know and embrace the love that God offers, nothing is ever the same again. That's why I don't mind people like Joel Osteen, which some Christians object to for making the Gospel easy. Yeah, there's more to it, but that is the first step, and unless that profound love is actually and deeply experienced, nothing that comes after will have any meaning or any fruits. That, to me, is what the Gospel of Inclusion is about.
Prayer: Dear God, When I stop and breath, Your Love for me wells up in me and provides the antidote for everything that assails me. Help me to live my life in such a way that others come to know this truth for themselves, and become their own witnesses to Your Divine Power and Grace. And so on, and so on, in a neverending spiral of the outflowing power of Love. Amen.
If he had known what was going to happen, he might have thought twice, but that is how the Holy Spirit works sometimes. He is viciously attacked, labeled a heretic by the movement that had praised him, his church attendance erodes until he is facing bankruptcy with a few stalwart followers. In the face of this massive failure, he is invited to begin anew at a local Episcopal church, and discovers the gift of the Spirit in what for him would have been unthinkable company: homosexuals, AIDS victims and others marginalized in his community. There he was, sitting with the sinners, just as Jesus did, and finding a resurgence of the Spirit in his life and in his mission.
I love this story, but what pushed me to write this blog on it wasn't just to relate the story. You can hear that better through the radio program, or the treatment on MSNBC. What urged me to respond was another interview on the MSNBC program, of one of the Evangelicals who condemned Pearson as a heretic. He says, "Why go to church if you're not trying to save people from hell?" If everybody's already saved, what's the point? he seemed to be saying. That question really roiled around my head and refused to lie still. This is how I answer it:
God, as Jesus, through the cross, has redeemed all humanity from sin, and called us all to be the beloved, cherished children of God that we were intended to be, but most people have no experience of this reality. Abuse, oppression, mistreatment, hardship, all of the sorts of experiences that humans heap on one another, convince most of us that we are bad, shameful, unworthy, worthless, in fact, that God couldn't possibly love us. And we operate out of that awareness, that vision of reality. "I am angry, depressed, hateful, hurtful; I don't matter, in fact, I am actively bad, making the world worse because of my presence." The kind of actions that come from that kind of identity-formation perpetuate the very horrors that created it in the first place. If everyone truly understands, knows at a deep level, actively experiences God's love, that has such a transformative power that it can stop generational abuse in its tracks. And I'm not talking about the way people often speak of parental love, "Oh, I know my parents love me" with the implication that it doesn't really count. I am talking about the love of God invading our hearts, pervading our entire bodies, our minds, the whole range of our experience, and becoming a truth as powerfully felt as that which says I am alive. If people can have that experience, can know and embrace the love that God offers, nothing is ever the same again. That's why I don't mind people like Joel Osteen, which some Christians object to for making the Gospel easy. Yeah, there's more to it, but that is the first step, and unless that profound love is actually and deeply experienced, nothing that comes after will have any meaning or any fruits. That, to me, is what the Gospel of Inclusion is about.
Prayer: Dear God, When I stop and breath, Your Love for me wells up in me and provides the antidote for everything that assails me. Help me to live my life in such a way that others come to know this truth for themselves, and become their own witnesses to Your Divine Power and Grace. And so on, and so on, in a neverending spiral of the outflowing power of Love. Amen.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The righteous will stand
Wisdom of Solomon 5:1 Then the righteous will stand with great confidence in the presence of those who have oppressed them and those who make light of their labors.
People want to be seen. People want their pain to be acknowledged, especially by those who may have caused it. The hardest thing for victims of childhood abuse is when that abuse is never acknowledged, or when it is minimized, or rationalized away with "it wasn't so bad". I think it is often that lack of recognition that encourages people to hold on to their victimization, simply in an effort to make it visible. Here, in this description of the last days, the final judgment, those who have been oppressed are finally being seen clearly by those who have denied what has happened. That is part of the great liberation described here.
I got such a wonderful image out of this. I saw crowds of people, those who had been abused as children, especially those who had been molested and told it was their fault, standing in the sunshine, robes bright with light, while those who had molested them and not taken responsibility for it lay below, enveloped in shadow. I thought of the farm laborers who wanted decent pay standing with them, and the CEO's who refused them that extra penny per pound of tomatoes, while living in luxury, huddling beneath. There are so many more possibilities, and you can probably come up with some of your own: women abused by their husbands; minority youth who are treated like criminals at every turn, so they become criminals; victims of crime, oppression, war, genocide -- all standing strong and proud in the face of those who have inflicted such pain and humiliation on them. There are probably many who belong in both groups -- the victims who grow up to be victimizers, or who, in their desire for revenge, become worse than those who initially victimized them, living out the endless cycle of violence and retribution.
But as I look into the faces of those who hover in the shadows, witnessing their reversal of fortune, the triumph of their victims, I have a secret hope, that in that moment they see the truth of their own wrongdoing. I imagine their hearts opening, and repentance blossoming as they see their victims with new eyes, as beloved, entitled children of God, not there to fulfill the victimizer's selfish purposes but to stand as witnesses to the grace that endures suffering and is not taken over by it. That is the radical message of Jesus. Love your enemy means to stand apart from that desire for revenge, that desire to get back at someone for what they have done to you, to break that cycle of violence and retribution that is passed back and forth between peoples and down through the generations. It is a commitment to continue to live life in the fullest way possible, guided by compassion, and not to allow bitterness and anger to restrict the soul in its passage. For that is what is seen in the eyes of those in the light: compassion, openness and joy, the commitment to reject the constricted role of victim and partake of the blessings God offers through forgiveness and surrender to His Will.
A pipe dream? Maybe so, but one I feel called to live in my own little way, and a vision of reconciliation that we have already seen lived out in South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Will we ever get rid of violence and oppression? No, probably not. But we can still build on this radical message of Jesus to make things better even in our flawed and chaotic world.
Prayer: Dear God, I have been so fortunate in my life not to fall prey to violence and oppression, but my very privilege can invite me into the oppression of others without knowing it. Wherever I feel a victim, let me open my heart in compassion and forgiveness towards those who harm me. And keep me ever mindful of those that I am in a position to victimize, that I may be aware of any suffering I cause and be called to recognize and redress it. Amen.
People want to be seen. People want their pain to be acknowledged, especially by those who may have caused it. The hardest thing for victims of childhood abuse is when that abuse is never acknowledged, or when it is minimized, or rationalized away with "it wasn't so bad". I think it is often that lack of recognition that encourages people to hold on to their victimization, simply in an effort to make it visible. Here, in this description of the last days, the final judgment, those who have been oppressed are finally being seen clearly by those who have denied what has happened. That is part of the great liberation described here.
I got such a wonderful image out of this. I saw crowds of people, those who had been abused as children, especially those who had been molested and told it was their fault, standing in the sunshine, robes bright with light, while those who had molested them and not taken responsibility for it lay below, enveloped in shadow. I thought of the farm laborers who wanted decent pay standing with them, and the CEO's who refused them that extra penny per pound of tomatoes, while living in luxury, huddling beneath. There are so many more possibilities, and you can probably come up with some of your own: women abused by their husbands; minority youth who are treated like criminals at every turn, so they become criminals; victims of crime, oppression, war, genocide -- all standing strong and proud in the face of those who have inflicted such pain and humiliation on them. There are probably many who belong in both groups -- the victims who grow up to be victimizers, or who, in their desire for revenge, become worse than those who initially victimized them, living out the endless cycle of violence and retribution.
But as I look into the faces of those who hover in the shadows, witnessing their reversal of fortune, the triumph of their victims, I have a secret hope, that in that moment they see the truth of their own wrongdoing. I imagine their hearts opening, and repentance blossoming as they see their victims with new eyes, as beloved, entitled children of God, not there to fulfill the victimizer's selfish purposes but to stand as witnesses to the grace that endures suffering and is not taken over by it. That is the radical message of Jesus. Love your enemy means to stand apart from that desire for revenge, that desire to get back at someone for what they have done to you, to break that cycle of violence and retribution that is passed back and forth between peoples and down through the generations. It is a commitment to continue to live life in the fullest way possible, guided by compassion, and not to allow bitterness and anger to restrict the soul in its passage. For that is what is seen in the eyes of those in the light: compassion, openness and joy, the commitment to reject the constricted role of victim and partake of the blessings God offers through forgiveness and surrender to His Will.
A pipe dream? Maybe so, but one I feel called to live in my own little way, and a vision of reconciliation that we have already seen lived out in South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Will we ever get rid of violence and oppression? No, probably not. But we can still build on this radical message of Jesus to make things better even in our flawed and chaotic world.
Prayer: Dear God, I have been so fortunate in my life not to fall prey to violence and oppression, but my very privilege can invite me into the oppression of others without knowing it. Wherever I feel a victim, let me open my heart in compassion and forgiveness towards those who harm me. And keep me ever mindful of those that I am in a position to victimize, that I may be aware of any suffering I cause and be called to recognize and redress it. Amen.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Way of Insight
Proverbs 9:6 Lay aside immaturity, and live, and walk in the way of insight.
This was read in church last Sunday and it really hit me: all the things I love to do, that call to me, that fill me and sustain me involve insight. As both a therapist and a consumer of therapy, insight is central to the process, discovering who I am in all the various situations I find myself in, and addressing the choices I make. In the arts, I discover insight into the human condition, into the life we live now, into the effects of cultural ideas on how we see ourselves. My spiritual practices, the prayer and contemplation, the writing (which for me is both creative and spiritual) get me to slow down and reflect, create space through silence and stillness that allows the truth to emerge from the chaos of my mind. What is confession, after all, but sharing acts of estrangement, the ways I behave that are counter to my intentions, the clarity of all my shortcomings and misdirections? Insight is seeing clearly the truth of who I am, and my place in the world of creation, and of people. It's a pulling together, an integration of all the different parts of me, the conflicting emotions, the contradictory desires and garbled intentions. It's a unification and focus of my spirit, light poured out on the path in front of me, and a making sense of all of that, a certain kind of understanding. It's a recognition that the things I think aren't necessarily the truth, that my mind lies to me; emotions are fleeting, and even a day which feels satisfying, filled and productive can be followed by one that makes me feel that my life is falling apart, I can't do anything right and I'm a totally lost soul. Even this attempt to tap into the order, to make my way back to that path, to come up out of the inchoate wilderness I seem to be caught up in, has tested me -- I had written the whole thing out, lost my internet connection, and came back on line to find all of it gone! So I am starting over. This is exactly what my life has felt like lately: all my efforts coming to naught. So I am attempting to retrieve the flashes of, yes, insight into what is going on with me right now by painstakingly reminding myself of the process I just went through and what I learned.
A little further on from this verse, we come upon a more famous one, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (9:10) This suggested to me that insight also had something to do with perspective, with seeing myself rightly within the whole expanse of what is. Not all religions talk about God, but they all address our place in the created universe and in our relationships with ourselves, with other human beings and whatever it is that gives us life. Seeing that perspective rightly requires that we come to terms with our human limitations, as well as the limitations of those around us. Sometimes we don't know what to do, we don't know where to turn. Confusion results, which can quickly spiral into fear and the conviction that something is wrong, and pretty soon I can't see anything good in my life or my horizon, all is lost. When I come to my spiritual director in this state of mind, he is fond of saying that I am one of those who really needs contemplation to sustain me. When I was in college, there was a particular creative process that I realized I couldn't live without; it filled me and sustained me and gave me life. Though the creative expression has shifted, I am continually reminded that it's still true that I need some sort of creative expression to help me make sense of it all; these days, I most often express that in writing of various kinds, like this. The quiet and stillness of contemplative prayer (meditation) is also surprisingly sustaining, and seems to clear away all the clutter in my mind that gets in the way of clarity of thinking. And let us not ignore the rest that comes this way. I know one of the things that I am struggling with (always do, it seems) is overscheduling, and not always getting my full Sabbath rest. To really give myself over to rest for one day a week, to recognize that life will go on without me, even those who look to me for support and guidance can do fine on their own for one day, relieves me of such a burden that I have in the past wakened the next morning raring to go. Slowly, but insidiously, however, activity and meetings and social life intrude; even reading can become an attempt to accomplish something! Then I have to remind myself what Sabbath is for, what it is all about, so that I can use it as a process of restoration.
The thing is, this process here, and others like it in my life, are always available, yet I don't always utilize them. I get stuck in the feelings, or the convictions, that sense of hopelessness and uselessness, and to counteract that get caught up in notions of achievement, accomplishment, as if that will provide what I am lacking. I am a tired child who keeps yelling, "I'm not tired!!!" and wanting to do that one more thing which will make me complete, not realizing that the one thing is no-thing but a cessation from doing, true rest. When I access the process, when I engage in my practices of spirituality, creativity and psychotherapeutic understanding, it all comes together and the light goes on. Spirituality connects me to that larger Self I call God, and gives me perspective on my true place of humility and flawedness; creativity integrates all the pieces into one flow of focus and clarity, shining the light on whatever that next step is; psychotherapeutic understanding helps me look at my choices and their effects, so that I can make the choices that really support me in my life. Yes, it takes time, and it doesn't always look like much, but the fruit is that I come back to the human being I am, find myself able to meet the challenges ahead of me, and experience myself more and more as the fullness of all that God intends for my life.
I think I need a vacation.
Prayer: Dear God, I know that you are always there, waiting, and that the practices I treasure lead me unfailingly to some sense of your Presence. Despite that knowing, I persist in doing things that don't work, trying to fill in the holes in my spirit with bread that does not satisfy. Forgive me my stubbornness, help me correct these faults of inattention and misattention, and remind me that You are the core of all I do and who I am. Amen.
This was read in church last Sunday and it really hit me: all the things I love to do, that call to me, that fill me and sustain me involve insight. As both a therapist and a consumer of therapy, insight is central to the process, discovering who I am in all the various situations I find myself in, and addressing the choices I make. In the arts, I discover insight into the human condition, into the life we live now, into the effects of cultural ideas on how we see ourselves. My spiritual practices, the prayer and contemplation, the writing (which for me is both creative and spiritual) get me to slow down and reflect, create space through silence and stillness that allows the truth to emerge from the chaos of my mind. What is confession, after all, but sharing acts of estrangement, the ways I behave that are counter to my intentions, the clarity of all my shortcomings and misdirections? Insight is seeing clearly the truth of who I am, and my place in the world of creation, and of people. It's a pulling together, an integration of all the different parts of me, the conflicting emotions, the contradictory desires and garbled intentions. It's a unification and focus of my spirit, light poured out on the path in front of me, and a making sense of all of that, a certain kind of understanding. It's a recognition that the things I think aren't necessarily the truth, that my mind lies to me; emotions are fleeting, and even a day which feels satisfying, filled and productive can be followed by one that makes me feel that my life is falling apart, I can't do anything right and I'm a totally lost soul. Even this attempt to tap into the order, to make my way back to that path, to come up out of the inchoate wilderness I seem to be caught up in, has tested me -- I had written the whole thing out, lost my internet connection, and came back on line to find all of it gone! So I am starting over. This is exactly what my life has felt like lately: all my efforts coming to naught. So I am attempting to retrieve the flashes of, yes, insight into what is going on with me right now by painstakingly reminding myself of the process I just went through and what I learned.
A little further on from this verse, we come upon a more famous one, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (9:10) This suggested to me that insight also had something to do with perspective, with seeing myself rightly within the whole expanse of what is. Not all religions talk about God, but they all address our place in the created universe and in our relationships with ourselves, with other human beings and whatever it is that gives us life. Seeing that perspective rightly requires that we come to terms with our human limitations, as well as the limitations of those around us. Sometimes we don't know what to do, we don't know where to turn. Confusion results, which can quickly spiral into fear and the conviction that something is wrong, and pretty soon I can't see anything good in my life or my horizon, all is lost. When I come to my spiritual director in this state of mind, he is fond of saying that I am one of those who really needs contemplation to sustain me. When I was in college, there was a particular creative process that I realized I couldn't live without; it filled me and sustained me and gave me life. Though the creative expression has shifted, I am continually reminded that it's still true that I need some sort of creative expression to help me make sense of it all; these days, I most often express that in writing of various kinds, like this. The quiet and stillness of contemplative prayer (meditation) is also surprisingly sustaining, and seems to clear away all the clutter in my mind that gets in the way of clarity of thinking. And let us not ignore the rest that comes this way. I know one of the things that I am struggling with (always do, it seems) is overscheduling, and not always getting my full Sabbath rest. To really give myself over to rest for one day a week, to recognize that life will go on without me, even those who look to me for support and guidance can do fine on their own for one day, relieves me of such a burden that I have in the past wakened the next morning raring to go. Slowly, but insidiously, however, activity and meetings and social life intrude; even reading can become an attempt to accomplish something! Then I have to remind myself what Sabbath is for, what it is all about, so that I can use it as a process of restoration.
The thing is, this process here, and others like it in my life, are always available, yet I don't always utilize them. I get stuck in the feelings, or the convictions, that sense of hopelessness and uselessness, and to counteract that get caught up in notions of achievement, accomplishment, as if that will provide what I am lacking. I am a tired child who keeps yelling, "I'm not tired!!!" and wanting to do that one more thing which will make me complete, not realizing that the one thing is no-thing but a cessation from doing, true rest. When I access the process, when I engage in my practices of spirituality, creativity and psychotherapeutic understanding, it all comes together and the light goes on. Spirituality connects me to that larger Self I call God, and gives me perspective on my true place of humility and flawedness; creativity integrates all the pieces into one flow of focus and clarity, shining the light on whatever that next step is; psychotherapeutic understanding helps me look at my choices and their effects, so that I can make the choices that really support me in my life. Yes, it takes time, and it doesn't always look like much, but the fruit is that I come back to the human being I am, find myself able to meet the challenges ahead of me, and experience myself more and more as the fullness of all that God intends for my life.
I think I need a vacation.
Prayer: Dear God, I know that you are always there, waiting, and that the practices I treasure lead me unfailingly to some sense of your Presence. Despite that knowing, I persist in doing things that don't work, trying to fill in the holes in my spirit with bread that does not satisfy. Forgive me my stubbornness, help me correct these faults of inattention and misattention, and remind me that You are the core of all I do and who I am. Amen.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Lord gave me my tongue
Ecclesiasticus 51:21-22 My heart was stirred to seek her; therefore I have gained a prize possession. The Lord gave me my tongue as a reward, and I will praise him with it.
The "her" referred to is Wisdom, personified in Hebrew scriptures and often called Sophia. It is the fruit of a spirit-filled life. I'm sure we've all heard, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom", but the word doesn't really imply being afraid of God, but rather, feeling awe before God, the recognition of our own insignificance before the Source of All. Humility is a huge piece of it, and perhaps it is that recognition of our own humility which opens us up to see, hear and understand true wisdom. That has certainly been my journey. Though I don't claim wisdom in myself, I do experience this process as a bowing down before the superior wisdom of scripture, and when I humble myself before it, putting aside my own ideas, and listening and waiting for the voice of the spirit, I am rewarded with new insights, perspectives on life that I wouldn't come to on my own. In that waiting and watching, in that bowing down and receiving, in that pausing and reflecting, Wisdom, in a sense, arises. Or at least I hope she does.
So I have searched and sometimes found, and God has given me a tongue. When I saw that, I immediately thought of this blog, and how it has given me a way to express what I have come to understand about life and God and the mystery in and around us all. That is what Jesus Son of Sirach is doing in his book, Ecclesiasticus: trying to pass on what he has learned, hoping that others will benefit from it. It has been difficult, lately, to read with fresh eyes, to bring renewed energy to this work, but this reading has reminded me of my purpose in speaking in this way. I am reminded that I am called to this as a sacred art, and I must persevere even through times without inspiration. I do feel a slackening of energy in all parts of my life, and partly, I suppose, I just need a vacation (which is coming up September 1 - 15!), a real prolonged rest. But this reminder has renewed at least a sense of purpose in what I am doing, and I find myself reinvigorated even as I slog through what feels like a stagnant time.
Prayer: Dear God, I don't know why I am experiencing this time of dullness and lack of energy or inspiration, but I know that you are here with me, if I will but look for you and open my heart to your presence. Help me to follow through on my commitments even when I don't feel like it. Give me the opportunity to rest and restore my soul, so that I can continue my path renewed in vigor and excitement. Amen
The "her" referred to is Wisdom, personified in Hebrew scriptures and often called Sophia. It is the fruit of a spirit-filled life. I'm sure we've all heard, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom", but the word doesn't really imply being afraid of God, but rather, feeling awe before God, the recognition of our own insignificance before the Source of All. Humility is a huge piece of it, and perhaps it is that recognition of our own humility which opens us up to see, hear and understand true wisdom. That has certainly been my journey. Though I don't claim wisdom in myself, I do experience this process as a bowing down before the superior wisdom of scripture, and when I humble myself before it, putting aside my own ideas, and listening and waiting for the voice of the spirit, I am rewarded with new insights, perspectives on life that I wouldn't come to on my own. In that waiting and watching, in that bowing down and receiving, in that pausing and reflecting, Wisdom, in a sense, arises. Or at least I hope she does.
So I have searched and sometimes found, and God has given me a tongue. When I saw that, I immediately thought of this blog, and how it has given me a way to express what I have come to understand about life and God and the mystery in and around us all. That is what Jesus Son of Sirach is doing in his book, Ecclesiasticus: trying to pass on what he has learned, hoping that others will benefit from it. It has been difficult, lately, to read with fresh eyes, to bring renewed energy to this work, but this reading has reminded me of my purpose in speaking in this way. I am reminded that I am called to this as a sacred art, and I must persevere even through times without inspiration. I do feel a slackening of energy in all parts of my life, and partly, I suppose, I just need a vacation (which is coming up September 1 - 15!), a real prolonged rest. But this reminder has renewed at least a sense of purpose in what I am doing, and I find myself reinvigorated even as I slog through what feels like a stagnant time.
Prayer: Dear God, I don't know why I am experiencing this time of dullness and lack of energy or inspiration, but I know that you are here with me, if I will but look for you and open my heart to your presence. Help me to follow through on my commitments even when I don't feel like it. Give me the opportunity to rest and restore my soul, so that I can continue my path renewed in vigor and excitement. Amen
Friday, August 7, 2009
Every need in its time
Ecclesiasticus 39:33 All the works of the Lord are good and he will supply every need in its time.
I have trouble with "in its time" sometimes. I am feeling impatient and anxious waiting to receive confirmation on something I want very much, but it is out of my control and there is nothing I can do about it! That doesn't stop me ruminating on a pretty regular basis, using incantations, anything I can think of to bring this to the conclusion that I want. But none of that actually helps. So daily, hourly even, I have to surrender it to God knowing it is out of my hands. My tendency is to keep it in my mind as if I could get the people in charge to take the action I want just by thinking about it. I don't know, I suppose it's possible some people have the ability to have an effect in that way, but I do know I don't. So I pray, starting off with surrender but usually quickly morphing into a petitionary, "oh, please, oh please, oh please", as if my assumption is if I pray about this enough I can make it happen, which is really some notion that God will do my bidding if I just ask often enough. However, if I can summon God the way Harry Potter the wizard can summon spirits, then it isn't God at all, but some creature of my own imagination. Prayer like that is just another version of superstition, using incantations or lucky charms, what have you. I remember a ditty from my childhood, "Step on a crack and break your mother's back", and how I would avoid cracks all the way home. Aside from the ghoulishness of this, it's kid stuff. This is how children think of God, sort of a heavenly ATM.
In an adult world, we recognize where we have control -- over my behaviors and attitudes -- and where I don't, which is pretty much everything else (people, places, things and events). We know that God is not just there to provide us with what we want at any given time. God is mystery; God is the ground of being beyond all our longings for the material; God is the source of longing, for ultimately all longing is about the longing to experience God eternally present, which is at best glimpsed on occasion, unless you are a tried and true mystic. Dealing with mystery, surrender really means giving it up, really giving it up completely, and making peace with whatever the outcome is, knowing God will be present no matter what happens. I have a friend who recently went into a serious operation. Beforehand, the doctor said, "I wish I could tell you you're going to be all right." He meant, physically healed. But my friend said, "I am going to be all right." Later she told me, "He doesn't get it, he doesn't realize that no matter what happens I'll be all right, because God will be with me." That's surrender, knowing in peace that whatever happens, it will be all right. As Julian of Norwich repeated almost as a mantra: And all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.
Prayer: Dear God, You know my longing for this event, how much I want it and pray for it to happen -- like the persistent widow. Help me remember that I have done all I can, and that all that is left is to give the result to you, truly surrender the outcome in trust, faith and love. Amen.
I have trouble with "in its time" sometimes. I am feeling impatient and anxious waiting to receive confirmation on something I want very much, but it is out of my control and there is nothing I can do about it! That doesn't stop me ruminating on a pretty regular basis, using incantations, anything I can think of to bring this to the conclusion that I want. But none of that actually helps. So daily, hourly even, I have to surrender it to God knowing it is out of my hands. My tendency is to keep it in my mind as if I could get the people in charge to take the action I want just by thinking about it. I don't know, I suppose it's possible some people have the ability to have an effect in that way, but I do know I don't. So I pray, starting off with surrender but usually quickly morphing into a petitionary, "oh, please, oh please, oh please", as if my assumption is if I pray about this enough I can make it happen, which is really some notion that God will do my bidding if I just ask often enough. However, if I can summon God the way Harry Potter the wizard can summon spirits, then it isn't God at all, but some creature of my own imagination. Prayer like that is just another version of superstition, using incantations or lucky charms, what have you. I remember a ditty from my childhood, "Step on a crack and break your mother's back", and how I would avoid cracks all the way home. Aside from the ghoulishness of this, it's kid stuff. This is how children think of God, sort of a heavenly ATM.
In an adult world, we recognize where we have control -- over my behaviors and attitudes -- and where I don't, which is pretty much everything else (people, places, things and events). We know that God is not just there to provide us with what we want at any given time. God is mystery; God is the ground of being beyond all our longings for the material; God is the source of longing, for ultimately all longing is about the longing to experience God eternally present, which is at best glimpsed on occasion, unless you are a tried and true mystic. Dealing with mystery, surrender really means giving it up, really giving it up completely, and making peace with whatever the outcome is, knowing God will be present no matter what happens. I have a friend who recently went into a serious operation. Beforehand, the doctor said, "I wish I could tell you you're going to be all right." He meant, physically healed. But my friend said, "I am going to be all right." Later she told me, "He doesn't get it, he doesn't realize that no matter what happens I'll be all right, because God will be with me." That's surrender, knowing in peace that whatever happens, it will be all right. As Julian of Norwich repeated almost as a mantra: And all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.
Prayer: Dear God, You know my longing for this event, how much I want it and pray for it to happen -- like the persistent widow. Help me remember that I have done all I can, and that all that is left is to give the result to you, truly surrender the outcome in trust, faith and love. Amen.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Pay no attention
Ecclesiasticus 34:5-6 Divinations and omens and dreams are unreal, and like a woman in labor, the mind has fantasies. Unless they are sent by intervention from the Most High, pay no attention to them.
Ay, there's the rub. Don't pay attention to your dreams, unless, that is, they are sent from God. But how do you know? How do you know what is coming from God and what is coming from your own ego? Or is just mindless chatter? Some of the accounts in the Bible suggest that some of the prophets and followers of God written about actually heard a voice from outside of themselves. There are many stories about the voice of God breaking through and confirming Jesus' sonship. I don't know about you, but I've never heard the voice of God that way, and I'm not sure I know anyone else who has either. And yet, I do believe I discern something of the way God is calling me to live, the direction God is asking me to go. So how does one do that? How does one listen for the voice of God and how do you know God is speaking to you?
Elijah discovers, in his cave, that the voice of God is not in the wind, nor the earthquake, nor the fire, but in the sound of "sheer silence" -- other translations say "a still, small voice." So, the first clue is to be still, to sit in stillness and let the stillness speak. All the contemplative practices are designed to help us discern the call of the Spirit through the clutter of our minds and the cacophony of our daily lives, but one must take the time to quiet down, to allow one's awareness to sift through all the other voices in our heads -- the voices of family and friends, the voices of the culture, and the voices of our own ego, which usually runs by a totally different set of values than our soul does. Self-preservation is the ego's primary goal. All of those things muddy the waters, but a contemplative practice like lexio divina (which is similar to what I do in these meditations), contemplative prayer, also called centering prayer or meditation, writing a sacred icon, and there are many others. In fact, almost any activity can become a contemplative practice if you approach it with awareness and a slow quiet attention. Brother Lawrence, who wrote "Practicing the Presence of God" regularly speaks of washing dishes as a contemplative experience.
Once we've slowed down, sifted through the layers of ego and the other voices competing for attention in our minds, and entered into a state of quiet inner stillness, then sometimes we can hear the voice of God. Maybe it's a voice, or maybe it's a word, or maybe it's even an image, but that is the place where we can be touched. And even then, can we really be sure? How can we really know? Thomas Merton expresses it beautifully in a well known prayer that he wrote:
Prayer: Dear God, As I struggle to discern the path before me, help me to stay focused on my desire to please you and to do your will. Help me to trust in your divine guidance even in the midst of confusion and uncertainty. Amen.
Ay, there's the rub. Don't pay attention to your dreams, unless, that is, they are sent from God. But how do you know? How do you know what is coming from God and what is coming from your own ego? Or is just mindless chatter? Some of the accounts in the Bible suggest that some of the prophets and followers of God written about actually heard a voice from outside of themselves. There are many stories about the voice of God breaking through and confirming Jesus' sonship. I don't know about you, but I've never heard the voice of God that way, and I'm not sure I know anyone else who has either. And yet, I do believe I discern something of the way God is calling me to live, the direction God is asking me to go. So how does one do that? How does one listen for the voice of God and how do you know God is speaking to you?
Elijah discovers, in his cave, that the voice of God is not in the wind, nor the earthquake, nor the fire, but in the sound of "sheer silence" -- other translations say "a still, small voice." So, the first clue is to be still, to sit in stillness and let the stillness speak. All the contemplative practices are designed to help us discern the call of the Spirit through the clutter of our minds and the cacophony of our daily lives, but one must take the time to quiet down, to allow one's awareness to sift through all the other voices in our heads -- the voices of family and friends, the voices of the culture, and the voices of our own ego, which usually runs by a totally different set of values than our soul does. Self-preservation is the ego's primary goal. All of those things muddy the waters, but a contemplative practice like lexio divina (which is similar to what I do in these meditations), contemplative prayer, also called centering prayer or meditation, writing a sacred icon, and there are many others. In fact, almost any activity can become a contemplative practice if you approach it with awareness and a slow quiet attention. Brother Lawrence, who wrote "Practicing the Presence of God" regularly speaks of washing dishes as a contemplative experience.
Once we've slowed down, sifted through the layers of ego and the other voices competing for attention in our minds, and entered into a state of quiet inner stillness, then sometimes we can hear the voice of God. Maybe it's a voice, or maybe it's a word, or maybe it's even an image, but that is the place where we can be touched. And even then, can we really be sure? How can we really know? Thomas Merton expresses it beautifully in a well known prayer that he wrote:
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact
that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me
through the right road though I may know
nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust you always though I may
seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you
will never leave me to face my peril alone.
Prayer: Dear God, As I struggle to discern the path before me, help me to stay focused on my desire to please you and to do your will. Help me to trust in your divine guidance even in the midst of confusion and uncertainty. Amen.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Lion's teeth
Ecclesiasticus 21:2 Flee from sins as from a snake; for if you approach sin, it will bite you. It's teeth are lion's teeth, and can destroy human lives.
I love the way sin is compared here to a wild animal. In Biblical times, people had a healthy respect for wild animals, but you here more and more stories these days about people who have tried to befriend them, insisting that things are safe, only to end up paying dearly for it. I've heard stories about alligators, lions and tigers, and then there's "Grizzly Man" who spent summers roaming with the bears in Alaska. A documentary was made about him after he was killed by a bear. People forget these are wild animals, and that it only takes one bad event to lose a limb or your life.
I think a lot of people look on this notion of sin as just taking the fun out of life, as the idea that everything that's fun is wrong, and keeping away from "sin" ruins the enjoyment life offers. Sin, in my book, is whatever dislodges God from center stage, and the reason we are warned away from such things is the potential they carry to destroy lives, just like wild animals can do. The change happens when you think you can control the animals -- or the behavior -- and find that instead, it is controlling you. Take the example of using alcohol or drugs. Many people can do these things responsibly, but others fall into an abyss that often takes their families with them. The problem for young people is they don't know yet which category they belong to, and probably won't know that they've slipped into the destructive category until a lot of damage has already been done. It's like people playing with wild animals, not realizing the power the animal possesses to harm them. The sin, whatever behavior is involved, has moved from being the sideline in my life to the main event, without my even noticing or really being aware. Sometimes great efforts are expended, as in the case of drugs or alcohol, to get the person to realize how much the behavior is affecting the family and others close to him or her. That may prompt a change of direction, a repentance which literally means turning around, or the behavior may continue unabated leaving more destruction in its wake.
So what is the temptation in my life, the behavior, the sin that could threaten the role of God as central to my life? I suspect for me it's pride, the sense of self-sufficiency that says, "I can handle this, I can figure it out myself," until I find myself in over my head having lost that connection to God as the source, the one in charge of my life, and I find myself scrambling to regain it. Better for me to recognize my need of God on a daily basis through the nurturing of practices such as this one.
Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for this practice and how it keeps me connected to my need for you, your role as my guiding star. Help me nurture that connection by laying before you all the circumstances of my life, asking for your love and guidance. Amen.
I love the way sin is compared here to a wild animal. In Biblical times, people had a healthy respect for wild animals, but you here more and more stories these days about people who have tried to befriend them, insisting that things are safe, only to end up paying dearly for it. I've heard stories about alligators, lions and tigers, and then there's "Grizzly Man" who spent summers roaming with the bears in Alaska. A documentary was made about him after he was killed by a bear. People forget these are wild animals, and that it only takes one bad event to lose a limb or your life.
I think a lot of people look on this notion of sin as just taking the fun out of life, as the idea that everything that's fun is wrong, and keeping away from "sin" ruins the enjoyment life offers. Sin, in my book, is whatever dislodges God from center stage, and the reason we are warned away from such things is the potential they carry to destroy lives, just like wild animals can do. The change happens when you think you can control the animals -- or the behavior -- and find that instead, it is controlling you. Take the example of using alcohol or drugs. Many people can do these things responsibly, but others fall into an abyss that often takes their families with them. The problem for young people is they don't know yet which category they belong to, and probably won't know that they've slipped into the destructive category until a lot of damage has already been done. It's like people playing with wild animals, not realizing the power the animal possesses to harm them. The sin, whatever behavior is involved, has moved from being the sideline in my life to the main event, without my even noticing or really being aware. Sometimes great efforts are expended, as in the case of drugs or alcohol, to get the person to realize how much the behavior is affecting the family and others close to him or her. That may prompt a change of direction, a repentance which literally means turning around, or the behavior may continue unabated leaving more destruction in its wake.
So what is the temptation in my life, the behavior, the sin that could threaten the role of God as central to my life? I suspect for me it's pride, the sense of self-sufficiency that says, "I can handle this, I can figure it out myself," until I find myself in over my head having lost that connection to God as the source, the one in charge of my life, and I find myself scrambling to regain it. Better for me to recognize my need of God on a daily basis through the nurturing of practices such as this one.
Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for this practice and how it keeps me connected to my need for you, your role as my guiding star. Help me nurture that connection by laying before you all the circumstances of my life, asking for your love and guidance. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)