Ecclesiasticus 17:25 Turn back to the Lord and forsake your sins; pray in his presence and lessen your offense.
When I read this verse, it really resonated, but I wasn't sure at first why. What sins did I need to forsake? And then I realized that I have been mulling over the past, mistakes that I made in my life before coming back to my faith -- somehow whatever mistakes I have made since that time I don't regret because of my conviction that walking with God I am on the right path -- and finding myself awash in regrets that I thought I had resolved. As I thought about it, I wondered, "How is that sin?" I knew I didn't like it or the feelings it brought up; I feel stupid and helpless and sad and judgmental and critical. And then I realized that I was indulging in an exercise of self-sabotage as in, "Oh, my mistake was really bad, because it kept me from achieving this other thing, and thwarted my destiny," and on and on; it's an endless loop of self reproach that preoccupies my mind and stops me from focusing on God and appreciating all the blessings that God has bestowed on me in this life. It short circuits gratitude and fills me up with a certain kind of self-importance. "I should have known better! I should have done it right! I should be able to avoid mistakes, unlike everyone else in the world." That's pride. We all know that pride is one of the seven deadlies. I have also come to believe that it is my particular bugaboo.
Today this was reinforced as I sat in on a conversation with some people who could have given up after their mistakes, but instead are reclaiming their lives. Who am I to complain when I have been the unworthy recipient of so much privilege? Verse 30 says "For not everything is within human capability." Like perfection. Only God is perfect. These "mistakes" are part of who I am as a flawed human being, they are part of the circumstances that have brought me to where I am today, those that led directly to my reaching out to God, reconnecting with my faith and bringing me on this wonderful journey that I am on. When I dwell on the past, which cannot be changed in this material world of three dimensions, it eclipses the joy and satisfaction I have found in the present, challenges my faith and gets me doubting my purpose, and that means doubting the very path God is calling me to. Only by restoring God as the central focus of my thoughts, can I regain the sense of joy and peace that are the fruits of my spiritual path.
Prayer: Dear God, I am troubled again by the voices of the past, drawn into practices of doubt, regret, comparison and self-judgment. Let me focus my thoughts on You; call me back into Your Grace so that I may know the purpose You have set for me. Let me trust Your infinite wisdom to guide me on my path. Amen.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
He is not given a hearing
Ecclesiasticus 13:22 If the rich person slips, many come to the rescue; he speaks unseemly words, but they justify him. If the humble person slips, they even criticize him; he talks sense, but is not given a hearing.
How often do we hold different standards for different groups of people? When the privileged and powerful commit acts of betrayal, corruption or immorality, there is often a wave of sympathy for that person, and their acts are contextualized and balanced by other acts that are viewed as more moral and full of integrity. But when poor people, or other marginalized groups, commit similar acts it is often taken as emblematic of the whole group, and no one comes to their defense. Think "welfare queens" vs. kings of industry who commit fraud. Yes, Bernie Madoff got a very long, well deserved sentence, but that is not true of everyone of his ilk that commits such crimes. And very few receive the kind of vitriolic hatred that has been wreaked upon those at the bottom of the ladder who are actually hurting far fewer people. I don't excuse fraud wherever it shows up, but what happened to mercy and justice extended to the least of these?
Here's another example. When the massacre at Columbine happened, it was taken as a symptom of something going terribly wrong with our youth. But when a 55 year old white man slaughters innocent children, or shoots up the post office, no one wonders what is going wrong with middle aged white men; he is seen as an aberration, someone mentally ill deserving our pity more than our censure. Our political parties are apt to behave this way, also. Adultery is worse when it's committed by someone of the other political party; people call for solutions they are not ready to take themselves when they fall into the same behavior.
What is the point? Jesus told us to forgive, up to 70 times 7 times. The prophets call us to extend mercy and justice to all of those in our society, especially those at the margins. It is easy to get carried away by our emotions, and to have different responses to the same behavior in someone we know, love or feel akin to than to someone who feels "different" from us in some substantial way. Bias grows out of the specificities of our lives; none of us can escape it. But if we are aware of our own context, and how it may color our reactions, we can stretch ourselves to see beyond our biases, and extend the same understanding and justice to those unlike ourselves, as we do to those who feel familiar. Bias is not the problem, but our lack of awareness of our bias which can than trip us up without our knowing it. Like a bunch of white men who are convinced of their own objectivity interviewing a Latina supreme court nominee about her supposed "racism."
Prayer: Dear God, I know that I am host to many biases and wrong judgments about others. Let me see others with Your eyes, eyes that can hold people to account for their actions, and yet extend mercy to those who see the nature of their own wrongdoing. Amen.
How often do we hold different standards for different groups of people? When the privileged and powerful commit acts of betrayal, corruption or immorality, there is often a wave of sympathy for that person, and their acts are contextualized and balanced by other acts that are viewed as more moral and full of integrity. But when poor people, or other marginalized groups, commit similar acts it is often taken as emblematic of the whole group, and no one comes to their defense. Think "welfare queens" vs. kings of industry who commit fraud. Yes, Bernie Madoff got a very long, well deserved sentence, but that is not true of everyone of his ilk that commits such crimes. And very few receive the kind of vitriolic hatred that has been wreaked upon those at the bottom of the ladder who are actually hurting far fewer people. I don't excuse fraud wherever it shows up, but what happened to mercy and justice extended to the least of these?
Here's another example. When the massacre at Columbine happened, it was taken as a symptom of something going terribly wrong with our youth. But when a 55 year old white man slaughters innocent children, or shoots up the post office, no one wonders what is going wrong with middle aged white men; he is seen as an aberration, someone mentally ill deserving our pity more than our censure. Our political parties are apt to behave this way, also. Adultery is worse when it's committed by someone of the other political party; people call for solutions they are not ready to take themselves when they fall into the same behavior.
What is the point? Jesus told us to forgive, up to 70 times 7 times. The prophets call us to extend mercy and justice to all of those in our society, especially those at the margins. It is easy to get carried away by our emotions, and to have different responses to the same behavior in someone we know, love or feel akin to than to someone who feels "different" from us in some substantial way. Bias grows out of the specificities of our lives; none of us can escape it. But if we are aware of our own context, and how it may color our reactions, we can stretch ourselves to see beyond our biases, and extend the same understanding and justice to those unlike ourselves, as we do to those who feel familiar. Bias is not the problem, but our lack of awareness of our bias which can than trip us up without our knowing it. Like a bunch of white men who are convinced of their own objectivity interviewing a Latina supreme court nominee about her supposed "racism."
Prayer: Dear God, I know that I am host to many biases and wrong judgments about others. Let me see others with Your eyes, eyes that can hold people to account for their actions, and yet extend mercy to those who see the nature of their own wrongdoing. Amen.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
As Lovers of Learning
Ecclesiasticus: The Prologue Now, those who read the scriptures must not only themselves understand them, but must also as lovers of learning be able through the spoken and written word to help the outsiders.
It struck me as I read this that this is one of the main purposes of this blog! This book, known as Ecclesiasticus or the Wisdom of Jesus Son of Sirach, is one of the group that we Protestants call the Apocryphal books, books that are not a part of the official canon of the church, but are nevertheless considered important as part of a larger understanding of scripture. It is full of daily wisdom. The Prologue was written by Jesus of Sirach's grandson, and gives some background to the writer, and includes the above statement as a kind of purpose for the writings. Not meant to be read straight through, it is meant as a guide for teaching how to live according to the Jewish law.
It seemed like an appropriate time for me to share where I have discovered whatever knowledge I have concerning the Biblical Scriptures. It has been primarily through a 4 year class at my Church called EfM -- Education for Ministry. A distance learning course through the Seminary at the University of the South in Sewanee, TN, it was originally intended for those seminarians who could not relocate and go to a residential seminary, but has been primarily utilized for lay people wanting to learn more about their tradition. The first year focuses on the Hebrew scriptures, what we Christians call the Old Testament; the second focuses on the New Testament. The third and fourth years trace both the history of the church and the development of its theology from the first century after Christ's crucifixion to the present day. What a fascinating journey it is, too! Four of us who have been in this class together across the whole four year span recently "graduated". The diocese held a wonderful ceremony for all of us, and we got a very impressive certificate from Sewanee that would be proud next to any other diploma you could find. It has been a fascinating journey, the end result bringing not so much an answer to my questions, as a whole different set of questions and an enormous set of books and theologians to explore in more detail. And my study enriches my reading of scripture every day, opens it up more fully and sharpens the message as it calls me to dig deeper, below the surface.
Prayer: Dear God, You have gifted me with such human knowledge of Your Holy Scripture as is available to me. Help me use that gift to open the Mystery of Your Presence to others, so they may know Your Saving Grace and Divine Peace. Amen.
It struck me as I read this that this is one of the main purposes of this blog! This book, known as Ecclesiasticus or the Wisdom of Jesus Son of Sirach, is one of the group that we Protestants call the Apocryphal books, books that are not a part of the official canon of the church, but are nevertheless considered important as part of a larger understanding of scripture. It is full of daily wisdom. The Prologue was written by Jesus of Sirach's grandson, and gives some background to the writer, and includes the above statement as a kind of purpose for the writings. Not meant to be read straight through, it is meant as a guide for teaching how to live according to the Jewish law.
It seemed like an appropriate time for me to share where I have discovered whatever knowledge I have concerning the Biblical Scriptures. It has been primarily through a 4 year class at my Church called EfM -- Education for Ministry. A distance learning course through the Seminary at the University of the South in Sewanee, TN, it was originally intended for those seminarians who could not relocate and go to a residential seminary, but has been primarily utilized for lay people wanting to learn more about their tradition. The first year focuses on the Hebrew scriptures, what we Christians call the Old Testament; the second focuses on the New Testament. The third and fourth years trace both the history of the church and the development of its theology from the first century after Christ's crucifixion to the present day. What a fascinating journey it is, too! Four of us who have been in this class together across the whole four year span recently "graduated". The diocese held a wonderful ceremony for all of us, and we got a very impressive certificate from Sewanee that would be proud next to any other diploma you could find. It has been a fascinating journey, the end result bringing not so much an answer to my questions, as a whole different set of questions and an enormous set of books and theologians to explore in more detail. And my study enriches my reading of scripture every day, opens it up more fully and sharpens the message as it calls me to dig deeper, below the surface.
Prayer: Dear God, You have gifted me with such human knowledge of Your Holy Scripture as is available to me. Help me use that gift to open the Mystery of Your Presence to others, so they may know Your Saving Grace and Divine Peace. Amen.
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