A homesick soul

Deuteronomy 28:66 God will give you a restless heart, longing eyes, a homesick soul. You will live in constant jeopardy, terrified of every shadow, never knowing what you'll meet around the next corner.

Moses is on the plain speaking to the Israelites; here he is describing what will happen if they fail to follow God and God's commandments. This struck me as a perfect description of what life is like without the foundation of faith, of God, at least what it was like for me and many others I meet. The restless heart is looking for rest in God, the eyes longing for a vision of God, the soul looking for a home. It is to be beset with fear and worry about the future, about what comes next – and goodness knows, even with faith it is easy to be taken over by fear. But fear and faith are mutually exclusive, they can’t occupy the same space. Where I have faith, fear does not enter; where fear takes over, faith is hard to find. That is why the practices of faith are so important.

Deuteronomy 28:9 God will form you as a holy people to Him, just as He promised you, if you keep the commandments of God, your God, and live the way He has shown you.

Here Moses is describing the blessings that will come as long as the Israelites remain faithful to God. And it is precisely in the practices of faith – prayer and meditation, reading scripture, service to others, being in community, and following the commandments to love God and our neighbor with all that we have and all that we are – that over time forms us into the holy likeness of God, a loving and compassionate presence toward all creation. Just as the water crashing on the rocks gradually softens their sharp angles and eventually pounds them into sand, so these practices slowly, gradually, inch by inch change us, mold us, open our hearts in compassion to the world around us. And therein lies true fulfillment. It is all preparation for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit which enables us to live out our calling. The paradox is that when I am truly emptied of myself, and filled only with God, then and only then do I become the fullness of all that I am and can be.

Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for the gift of Your practices, the call that invited me into this life and the many small and subtle ways You continue to form my heart. Let me know the joy of total surrender to Your will that I may fulfill the plan you have laid out for me. Amen.