Risk delight

Ecclesiastes 1:18b The more you know, the more you hurt.

I'm not sure what "The Preacher", which is how the Greek work Ecclesiastes is usually translated, or "The Quester" as Peterson, writer of The Message Bible calls him, means by this statement, but it immediately made me think of global communication. We now know not only about the terrible things that are happening in our own neighborhoods (I get an e-mail "Crime Watch" from my homeowner's association which lists every crime in the area -- this may be more information than I want!) or cities and towns -- witness the police log in every local newspaper -- but worldwide. We hear about explosions in India, tsunamis in Indonesia, bus accidents that kill children in Canada, all that is going on all over the world: wars, famine, murder, natural disasters, illnesses of all kinds, relocation of refugees fleeing oppression, as well as the horrors of repressive regimes. For one who's call is to be compassionate, it is a tsunami of pain that can be almost literally overwhelming. It's easy to shut down or cut it off.

I believe, though, that the spiritual path asks something else of us: the courage and the stamina to look such suffering square in the face and accept it. Not accept as in become resigned, but accept as in recognize and acknowledge the fact of it. Compassion means to stand with others in their pain. And that is meant to move us to act on their behalf in whatever way we can. Spirit in our lives is not about protection or immunity from pain and difficulty; its purpose is to enable us to step more deeply into life and all its difficulty as a means of transformation.

And I can't resist another poem, which captures so well the paradox between having compassion for all the pain in the world and living in the joy of the Christian path.

A Brief for the Defense
by Jack Gilbert

Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
Are not starving someplace, they are starving
Somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
Be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
Be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
At the fountain are laughing together between
The suffering they have known and the awfulness
In their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
In the village is very sick. There is laughter
Every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta.
And the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
We lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
But not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
The stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
Furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
Measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
We should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at theprow again of a small ship
Anchored late at night in the tiny port
Looking over to teh sleeping island: the waterfront
Is three shuttered cafes and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
Comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
All the years of sorrow that are to come.

Prayer: Dear God, You have given me a life of joy and a heart of compassion. Help me to walk this tightrope of Your Love, balancing the inexpressible Joy at the heart of Your Walk, with the depth of compassion for all Your Suffering World. Amen.

Wanting what they don't have

Proverbs 21:26 Sinners are always wanting what they don't have; the God-loyal are always giving what they do have.

Here are a couple of hints about the happy life: gratitude and generosity. If I'm only focused on what's out there, what I don't have, what is not yet fulfilled, then I'm living in a half-empty life, constantly reminded of life's deficiencies and dissatisfactions. The sad thing is that even if or when my life expands, I don't notice because I am so fixed on what I don't have yet. It's a limitless category! But if I can start to appreciate and be grateful for what I DO have, suddenly my life begins to fill up with satisfaction and contentment, it becomes half full. As my life grows and expands, my gratitude grows also, until it overflows into generosity; when I truly live in gratitude, I need less and I want everyone to enjoy something of what I possess: not my things, but my experience of a joyful life.

Prayer: Dear God, Let me be grateful every day for the many blessings of this life, and let me live that gratitude through a generous spirit. Amen.

The less you speak the better

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Don't be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear. God's in charge, not you -- the less you speak the better.

This was the reading for my Sabbath rest last Sunday, and it really struck me how often my prayer life consists of a lot of jabbering away at God: praying intercessions for friends who are ill or in distress, petitioning for my own needs, even counting my blessings and praising God can be about a lot of words and chatter in my head. It's not that it's wrong to do those things, it's just that all those words and stories, the incessant stream of verbiage, can become a wall that serves to keep God out. I think that is the place of contemplative practices, like writing sacred icons. I worked on mine yesterday, and I entered into such a space of deep peace. As I prayerfully work with my hands, my mind empties and becomes open to God's indwelling. It helps me drop the wall, let go of it, and allow space, time, silence and emptiness. Then God has room to enter in.

It reminded me of a poem, which is framed on my wall. Mary Oliver expresses it much better than I can:

Praying

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks and, a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Prayer: Dear God, Remind me that my purpose today is to listen and be open to You so that I may dwell in Your Presence. Amen.

A Flourishing Tree

Proverbs 11:28 A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.

Proverbs is just full of pithy phrases like this one, that captures the essence of the expansive joy that comes from a life centered around God. I think people's ideas about a God-centered life are all about what one has to give up -- and there is no doubt that to really engage with a spiritual path does involve a certain kind of discipline. There is a giving up of easy pleasure for a joy that is more sustaining and less self-destructive. There is the imperative to keep engaging with spiritual practices, even when they seem dry, because in the long run they keep you on the path. There is the value of persisting at a challenging task because the ultimate fulfillment proves so much more satisfying partly because of that effort and commitment.

Before I had my son, it seemed to me that all the messages about having children were about the trouble they demanded; all the things I would have to give up, like time to do whatever I wanted, or a good night's sleep; all the challenges they would provide. It wasn't until after I held him and took care of his every need that I feel madly and deeply in love with him and discovered the joy and riches of being a parent. Like the spiritual path, being a parent is deeply challenging; a kid will call into question your most basic values and understanding about what life is all about. It is also about the most rewarding and satisfying experience I can imagine, because it demands all of what I am.

In short, a life with god at its center expands and enriches your experience; put anything else there, whether pleasure or wealth or accumulation or even achievement and you've got less, a restricted life, a life that sucks itself dry, that eats its own tail, that falls back on nothing.

Prayer: Dear God, It is challenging at times to stay committed to the path I walk with You. Help me remember the rich, fulfilling life You offer in return for my faithfulness; that though the gate is narrow, the reward is expansive. Amen

Don't assume you know it all

Proverbs 3:7 Don't assume you know it all.

I think almost any circumstance I am part of can benefit from this piece of wisdom. Whether in conversations with my family, professional and work situations, or in my activities at church, I in particular need to remember that I don't know it all. Often I'm so full of my own ideas, that I burst out with them, obliterating other people's ideas and even their desire to participate. Then I lose the opportunity to learn from them, to broaden my perspective, to hear some of the many stories outside of my own experience. I have had to work hard to counteract this tendency, to step back so that others can step forward, to appreciate the value to ME of what others have to say, and not simply focus on the excitement and joy I get from my own process of thinking things out.

I think we Christians can benefit also from recognizing that we have much to learn from other's experiences. Too often the voice of Christianity in the culture is strident and all-knowing, leaving no room to invite those outside the fold to share their knowledge and convictions. My Rector often says that the Church is the one institution which exists primarily for those outside its walls; Jesus often spent time with the marginalized of his culture, approaching them with compassion and grace. I'm not suggesting that people put aside their own conviction about their faith, but just to recognize that hitting people over the head with how right we are doesn't invite them to engage with us, that humility about the limits of our knowing is a surer path to real dialogue than a stance that says I've already got everything figured out. And in fact, even as a Christian, even as one who feels a sure conviction about my faith, can I really say that I know the mind of God?

Prayer: Dear God, It's so easy to rest in my own understanding of my faith, and forget that You and Your Ways are as far above me as the potter is above the clay, as the shepherd is above the sheep. Help me keep my own knowing in its proper perspective in the context of Your Unfathomable Being. Amen.

A Wildly Wonderful World!

Psalm 104:24 What a wildly wonderful world, God! You made it all with wisdom at your side, made earth overflow with your wonderful creations!

I was at a dinner last night honoring the Brothers of Mt. Calvary, the monastery which was burned to the ground in Santa Barbara last year. One of the brothers is a master calligrapher, and had set a wonderful Billy Collins poem in his beautiful hand. Perhaps it was that event that made the world seem so fresh and new this morning, a sense of lightness, of joy and gratitude sustaining my heart. Perhaps it was the experience of being with the Brothers, who despite the devastating loss of their home and all it contained, seem buoyed by love in everything they do. Whatever the case, I can think of nothing which better reflects the wonder of life than this poem.

Aimless Love

This morning as I walked along the lakeshore,
I fell in love with a wren
and later in the day with a mouse
the cat had dropped under the dining room table.

In the shadows of an autumn evening,
I fell for a seamstress
still at her machine in the tailor’s window,
and later for a bowl of broth,
steam rising like smoke from a naval battle.

This is the best kind of love, I thought,
without recompense, without gifts,
or unkind words, without suspicion,
or silence on the telephone.

The love of the chestnut,
the jazz cap and one hand on the wheel.

No lust, no slam of the door –
the love of the miniature orange tree,
the clean white shirt, the hot evening shower,
the highway that cuts across Florida.

No waiting, no huffiness, or rancor –
just a twinge every now and then

for the wren who had built her nest
on a low branch overhanging the water
and for the dead mouse,
still dressed in its light brown suit.

But my heart is always propped up
in a field on its tripod,
ready for the next arrow.

After I carried the mouse by the tail
to a pile of leaves in the woods,
I found myself standing at the bathroom sink
gazing down affectionately at the soap,

so patient and soluble,
so at home in its pale green soap dish.
I could feel myself falling again
as I felt its turning in my wet hands
and caught the scent of lavender and stone.

~ Billy Collins ~

Prayer: Dear God, Every moment is full of Your Splendour if I will only open my eyes and my heart. Keep me mindful of the wonder and joy of Your Creation, even as I go about my daily life. Amen.

God's more-than-enough

Psalm 4:5-7 Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more," they say. "More, more." I have God's more-than-enough, more joy in one ordinary day than they get in all their shopping sprees.

The lack of satisfaction people feel in their lives, the constant hunger for more, all the addictive process we see in our society -- whether it's food, substances, sex, gambling, shopping, whatever--I believe is a spiritual problem. When Mother Theresa came to the US she saw a nation rich in material ways but suffering from spiritual poverty. The good news is that if that spiritual poverty is recognized for what it is, one can take up the spiritual path, seek and find spiritual sustenance to satisfy that gnawing hunger. I believe that's part of what Jesus meant when he said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." The bad news is that if that too often people don't see that as the problem and keep pursuing what hasn't satisfied them yet -- a new job, more stuff, a new partner. Sometimes, a new job or partner, the right one, can make a big difference, but usually only when we recognize the limitations of these things in providing happiness, when we see them in their proper perspective.

I think this is another way of saying that the spiritual life is not about some esoteric or exotic level of achievement that is available only to the highly evolved or theologically sophisticated. Ask any committed 12-Stepper, and they'll tell you that the spiritual life is precisely for all of us ordinary folks, helping us live the real lives that we have. I can't say that I've attained the level of spiritual enlightenment where every moment is unmitigated joy, but I can say that when I engage in my spiritual practices and cultivate the spiritual perspective and understanding of life, my heart is filled with peace and joy and I greet each day as a sacred adventure rather than as an ordeal that I have to somehow get through.

Prayer: Dear God, I've been away for a bit and have let go of some of the practices that nurture me in my relationship with You. Let me take this time to re-invigorate my spiritual life and to draw closer to Your plan for me. Amen.