He slipped away by himself

Matthew 14:13, 23 When Jesus got the news, he slipped away by boat to an out-of-the-way place by himself...He stayed there alone, late into the night.

The "news" is the beheading of John the Baptist, the Forerunner, as the Eastern Orthodox refer to him, but also Jesus' cousin. What did that news foreshadow for him about what was to come? What sorrow did it bring up, that lonely night on the mountain? Did he pray for John? for Elizabeth, John's mother, and Mary, his own? It must have been a great loss to him. He needed to be alone, to pray, to reflect, just to allow his responses time to work themselves out.

I need time alone, too, sometimes, to process challenging situations, to deal with complex emotions, relationships, events, that I am trying to figure out, trying to understand in the context of my life, my faith. It takes time and quiet and solitude to come to clarity about where I stand in relationship to some of the difficulties that arise from living. And sometimes, there's nothing in particular going on, I just need some time alone to decompress. Like now, I am in Mississippi, at Mission on the Bay, a joint project of Episcopal Relief and Development, and Lutheran and Episcopal Services in MS trying to rebuild the coast from the devastation left by Hurricane Katrina. Yes, there's still lots of work to be done! My church sends a group here once or twice a year, and we spend the day working on houses: doing carpentry, painting, installing cabinets, floors and roofs, even windows and doors, plumbing, just about anything you can think of. This week I have been tiling floors.

It's great fun, working with wonderful people, and we always have a good time, despite how tiring it is. But from morning to night -- waking up and walking into the bathroom that's already full of people (there are 80 some here this week, although they often have up to 200), eating, working all day at the job site, dinner and evening, reading or chatting in the common room -- there are people around. I have to be very conscious of my need for a little quiet solitude every once in a while, or I'll start getting cranky and irritable and not really know why. Or I'll start feeling stressed and lose that sense of light-hearted enjoyment, that joy of service which is a lot of why I come. There is no better example of how to deal with life's difficulties, or even just the importance of a little alone time than that of Jesus climbing up a mountain to pray alone and undisturbed.

Prayer: Dear God, Help me recognize those times when I need to be alone to sort through what life presents to me. Help me hearken to the call of solitude. Amen