Missing the Point

1Timothy 6:21 People caught up in a lot of talk can miss the whole point of faith.

When I was studying the history of the Church in the four year Bible study known as Education for Ministry, our class often remarked on how these guys (and they were all guys) would get so hung up on some point of theology -- like "Did the bread physically become Christ's body, like at the molecular level, or was this a more spiritual or metaphorical truth?" -- and the next thing you know, war has broken out! It's hard to imagine anything more opposed to the Christian message than war, and yet these guys really believed they were fighting for the Truth, the Soul of the Church. It seemed to us like they were missing the point on a grand scale.

So what is the point? Paul says it earlier in 1Timothy (verse 3) "The whole point of what we're urging is simply love" and later tells Timothy "Teach believers with your life" (v. 12). That is what faith is about, living a life grounded in the love of God, expressing that love to all God's creation. It's not for me to judge others, only to love them. It's not even for me to save others, just to love them. Self-examination is essential, so that I can form my life with Jesus at the center, but it must be a self-examination grounded in love, gentle, caring, encouraging, not harsh and cruel. I've noticed that people who are harsh and cruel to others often are subject to an Inner Critic harsher and crueler than the behavior they exhibit. So loving ourselves is part of the equation. And that only comes from experiencing the love of God. That is the foundation, the starting point of the life lived in faith. Know this. God is good; God is love. God loves you, right here, right now, just the way you are. That's basic.

Prayer: Dear God, I pray for those who have not yet received the comfort of Your Love and Mercy, who suffer the pain of feeling worthless and useless, victims of hate and spreaders of hate. Touch their hearts, open their hearts, to Your Love. Use me as an instrument to open hearts to Your Love that have been mired in fear, self-loathing and oppression, that all might experience the joy of living in your Heavenly Kingdom, right here on earth. Amen.

Love like that

Ephesians 5:2 Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us, but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

Love like that, with everything you have. I truly feel this is the road God is bringing me to -- there's a definite theme happening here! -- a process of expressing love in all that I do, a place where my main occupation is sharing that love with the world: in my work with clients, in my friendships, with family members and in my volunteer activities. And in that process, I am hoping to equip people so that they can extend that same love to the lives that they touch. When I am aware of this, when I am fully connected with that sense of purpose, it is the most satisfying, quietly thrilling way I can imagine spending my life! Through it all I get to experience that same love and nurture but because I don't hold on to it but allow it to flow through me, it never gets stuck, stopped up or stagnant. It is the abundant life Jesus talks about, the living water that continually rises up because I am connected to the source; I am living out of that source, the way appliances are fueled when they are plugged into the electrical grid. And it's enough, it's all I need, and I find myself daily truly grateful and content.

Prayer: Dear God, This is a day for joyous thanksgiving for the gifts that you have inspired me to share with the world you love. All I ask is that you continue to renew the joyful gratitude I feel in my heart today. Amen

Faith expressed in Love

Galatians 5:6 For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.

Here we are finally in the New Testament and back to Eugene Peterson's vigorous translation, The Message. Since we are going through the Bible roughly in the order it was written, however, we are not starting with the Gospels, but with Paul's letters, which were the first Christian documents circulated. Galatians is understood to be the oldest.

Paul is telling us what freedom in Christ means. It doesn't mean doing whatever we want, licentiousness or seeking only our own pleasure, but it's not about the rules either. Rules can only affect our outward behavior, but faith in Christ changes us from within. This faith, expressed in love, then guides our actions, transforms our desires so that at times we joyfullly follow the rules as the best way to express that faith-love, and at times we break them to serve that same expression. It's no longer about the rules at all! We are driven by true freedom, a freedom to love extravagantly all whom we meet, a freedom that brings joy, serenity, loving compassion

Paul compares the results to the fruit of a well-tended tree (5:22), gifts that are the natural result of living a faith filled life. He also describes the dangers of a self-filled life (5:19-20) which in Eugene Peterson's vivid contemporary language sounds like a list of all the ills society now struggles with. In fact, he describes this life of "trying to get your own way all the time" (5:19) as a sort of compulsion, an addiction that wants more and more of whatever it is --- sex, food, drink, money or material goods -- compulsively, because these are not what is ultimately satisfying. The life of the spirit, lived in the freedom of Chirst, begets a life of peace, serenity and joy, precisely because it satisfies our deepest needs as human beings.

My son says -- he's 22 -- that in fact, it is therefore a selfish choice to follow Jesus, becuase it really is in my own best interest, and I would have to agree. It is the ultimate selfishness to live a faithful life, filled with joy and peace and community, but paradoxically, we achieve it by withdrawing from self-interest and pursuits of the fulfillment of our material appetities. It says in the prayer book about Jesus, "His service is perfect freedom." That is the central paradox of Christianity: submit to Christ and find true freedom. There's a Rumi ppoem that describes this paradox as a cool fountain on one side and a pit of fire on the other. Those who go into the fountain, find themselves inthe fire and vice versa. If we try to avoid what is difficult, surrender ourselves to rules and externals, even a person or leader, we only find ourselves in more difficulty. Of such leaders, Paul says, "They want to shut you out of the free world of God's grace, so that you will always depend on them for approval and direction, making them feel important." (4:17) All such submission is slavery and contrary to Christ's call.

Christ has set us free. Live life as a glorious dance with Spirit, faith expressed as love. By blessing others with our care and service, we send out waves of love that touch lives we don't even know about in a never ending cycle of love and compassion, bringing about the Kingdom of God right here on earth.

Prayer: Dear God, I am earnestly seeking my role in the establishment of Your Kingdom on earth. Guide me to that unique expression for which you have called me and teach me to surrender all that I am to that vision when I have found it. Amen.

Finished off their enemies

Esther 9:5 So the Jews finished off all their enemies with the sword, slaughtering them right and left, and did as they pleased to those who hated them.

Revenge. It's a common human response to hatred, injustice and violence, even in this case where the violence was not actually carried out. A preemptive strike: the best defense being a good offense. It's only common sense; if you get them first, then you'll be safer, right? Here's the problem: it's impossible to slaughter everyone who is an enemy, or might become an enemy, or who knows or cares about someone who's an enemy. Where do you draw the line? Wherever you draw it, you will probably exclude some who are potentially dangerous, and include those who are not, thereby perpetrating more injustice. And then your enemies feel entirely justified in slaughtering you the first chance they get. And the hatred and enmity which exists between you gets magnified with each new event, until continual slaughter is the result. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth results in a country of the blind and toothless.

The interesting thing about this eye for an eye idea is that it was originally intended as a restraint on revengeful slaughter, meant as a mercy. It meant that if someone killed a family member, you were constrained from slaughtering his whole family; all you were allowed was to kill the person who had killed. This idea of mercy is firmly embedded in the Hebrew scriptures, juxtaposed against episodes like this one. Jesus takes it one step further. Not only does he say don't hate your enemies, but he says love them. (Incidentally, I believe one of the psalms says the same thing, and adds "it'll pour hot coals upon his head", meaning, I think, that he'll be shamed and humiliated by your mercy. I'm not sure that's exactly the point Jesus is trying to make). This is a radical concept, and the only way to break the cycle of violence in our world. I remember a story about Desmond Tutu, who was at dinner in conversation about the evils of apartheid, long before the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. After dinner, he went to his room for several hours, and when the host inquired, Tutu said that he had felt the hatred and anger burning in his heart, so he went to pray until he was free of it again. I also think of the Amish whose children were slaughtered by a madman. They insisted on sharing money that was sent them with the family of the murderer, whom they saw equally as victims, and refused to view him with hatred, choosing instead compassion and pity.

This is the radical nature of the walk Jesus calls us to. To love those who harm us and those we love. To return compassion for hatred. Here's another story about the transforming power of this kind of radical love that I heard on the radio. A rabbi moved into a new town which had an active white supremacist movement. One of the members of this group began calling the rabbi's house and leaving vicious, hate-filled messages on his answering machine. Asking around about the man, the rabbi found out that he lived alone, had no support system, and was very ill. The next time the man called, the rabbi picked up the phone and offered to bring him some groceries. It took time and persistence, but eventually the rabbi actually took this man into his home and cared for him. Now the man was traveling the country, talking to these hate groups and others about how his heart had been changed by this expression of love. It's pretty simple: love your enemies. But anyone who thinks it is easy probably hasn't tried it.

Prayer: Dear God, This kind of radical love is not easy to grow, but it is my longing to be filled with Your heart of compassion. Teach me to love those right near by that may frustrate, annoy or even injure me, that through my actions they may know Your all consuming love. Amen.

A Gospel of Inclusion

No scripture today. I happened to catch a show on MSNBC called "To Hell and Back" about Carlton Pearson, an African-American Evangelical in Tulsa Oklahoma. I had originally heard the story on This American Life (www.thislife.org episode called Heretics) and had been thrilled by this story. A prominent preacher, a darling of the Evangelical fire-and-brimstone preaching-hell-to-get-people-saved movement, Carlton is pastor of a megachurch, a leader and a mover and a shaker. Watching a show on African refugees who are starving, seeing the distended bellies of their starving children, Carlton is moved by their plight. But everything he has been taught tells him that these non-Christians are condemned to hell because they have not accepted Jesus as their personal savior. In his internal reflections, he hears God saying to him, "Hell is not a place in the afterlife, but right here on earth. It is what human beings do to each other." He reshapes his thinking, becoming convinced that if Christ saved humanity on the cross, then he saved ALL humanity on the cross, and begins preaching the Gospel of Inclusion.

If he had known what was going to happen, he might have thought twice, but that is how the Holy Spirit works sometimes. He is viciously attacked, labeled a heretic by the movement that had praised him, his church attendance erodes until he is facing bankruptcy with a few stalwart followers. In the face of this massive failure, he is invited to begin anew at a local Episcopal church, and discovers the gift of the Spirit in what for him would have been unthinkable company: homosexuals, AIDS victims and others marginalized in his community. There he was, sitting with the sinners, just as Jesus did, and finding a resurgence of the Spirit in his life and in his mission.

I love this story, but what pushed me to write this blog on it wasn't just to relate the story. You can hear that better through the radio program, or the treatment on MSNBC. What urged me to respond was another interview on the MSNBC program, of one of the Evangelicals who condemned Pearson as a heretic. He says, "Why go to church if you're not trying to save people from hell?" If everybody's already saved, what's the point? he seemed to be saying. That question really roiled around my head and refused to lie still. This is how I answer it:

God, as Jesus, through the cross, has redeemed all humanity from sin, and called us all to be the beloved, cherished children of God that we were intended to be, but most people have no experience of this reality. Abuse, oppression, mistreatment, hardship, all of the sorts of experiences that humans heap on one another, convince most of us that we are bad, shameful, unworthy, worthless, in fact, that God couldn't possibly love us. And we operate out of that awareness, that vision of reality. "I am angry, depressed, hateful, hurtful; I don't matter, in fact, I am actively bad, making the world worse because of my presence." The kind of actions that come from that kind of identity-formation perpetuate the very horrors that created it in the first place. If everyone truly understands, knows at a deep level, actively experiences God's love, that has such a transformative power that it can stop generational abuse in its tracks. And I'm not talking about the way people often speak of parental love, "Oh, I know my parents love me" with the implication that it doesn't really count. I am talking about the love of God invading our hearts, pervading our entire bodies, our minds, the whole range of our experience, and becoming a truth as powerfully felt as that which says I am alive. If people can have that experience, can know and embrace the love that God offers, nothing is ever the same again. That's why I don't mind people like Joel Osteen, which some Christians object to for making the Gospel easy. Yeah, there's more to it, but that is the first step, and unless that profound love is actually and deeply experienced, nothing that comes after will have any meaning or any fruits. That, to me, is what the Gospel of Inclusion is about.

Prayer: Dear God, When I stop and breath, Your Love for me wells up in me and provides the antidote for everything that assails me. Help me to live my life in such a way that others come to know this truth for themselves, and become their own witnesses to Your Divine Power and Grace. And so on, and so on, in a neverending spiral of the outflowing power of Love. Amen.

Risk delight

Ecclesiastes 1:18b The more you know, the more you hurt.

I'm not sure what "The Preacher", which is how the Greek work Ecclesiastes is usually translated, or "The Quester" as Peterson, writer of The Message Bible calls him, means by this statement, but it immediately made me think of global communication. We now know not only about the terrible things that are happening in our own neighborhoods (I get an e-mail "Crime Watch" from my homeowner's association which lists every crime in the area -- this may be more information than I want!) or cities and towns -- witness the police log in every local newspaper -- but worldwide. We hear about explosions in India, tsunamis in Indonesia, bus accidents that kill children in Canada, all that is going on all over the world: wars, famine, murder, natural disasters, illnesses of all kinds, relocation of refugees fleeing oppression, as well as the horrors of repressive regimes. For one who's call is to be compassionate, it is a tsunami of pain that can be almost literally overwhelming. It's easy to shut down or cut it off.

I believe, though, that the spiritual path asks something else of us: the courage and the stamina to look such suffering square in the face and accept it. Not accept as in become resigned, but accept as in recognize and acknowledge the fact of it. Compassion means to stand with others in their pain. And that is meant to move us to act on their behalf in whatever way we can. Spirit in our lives is not about protection or immunity from pain and difficulty; its purpose is to enable us to step more deeply into life and all its difficulty as a means of transformation.

And I can't resist another poem, which captures so well the paradox between having compassion for all the pain in the world and living in the joy of the Christian path.

A Brief for the Defense
by Jack Gilbert

Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
Are not starving someplace, they are starving
Somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
Be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
Be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
At the fountain are laughing together between
The suffering they have known and the awfulness
In their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
In the village is very sick. There is laughter
Every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta.
And the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
We lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
But not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
The stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
Furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
Measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
We should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at theprow again of a small ship
Anchored late at night in the tiny port
Looking over to teh sleeping island: the waterfront
Is three shuttered cafes and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
Comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
All the years of sorrow that are to come.

Prayer: Dear God, You have given me a life of joy and a heart of compassion. Help me to walk this tightrope of Your Love, balancing the inexpressible Joy at the heart of Your Walk, with the depth of compassion for all Your Suffering World. Amen.

Acted out of who I was

Ezekiel 20:22 But I thought better of it and acted out of who I was, not by what I felt, so that I might be honored and not blasphemed by the nations who had seen me bring them out.

God is speaking to Ezekiel about his anger at the Israelites as they wandered in the desert after God had rescued them from Egypt. Despite God's anger, God acted not out of how he felt, but who he WAS. What a startling statement! Who I am is not how I feel. If you had said that to me when I was in my 20's, I would have thought you were crazy. How I felt then practically defined who I was: I am a person who feels. That's from coming from a household, like those of many of my generation whose "greatest generation" parents were also the "stoical" generation, where feelings were not usually expressed, much less discussed.

As I've gotten older, though, I have begun to see that feelings fluctuate; they move and rattle and cascade; they take us up and down and all around the glorious roller coaster of life. So they are part of me, but they are not who I am. Who I am is expressed in my intentions; whose I am is expressed when those intentions follow the teachings of Jesus: to love God and love my neighbor. When I act out of anger, or revenge, or fear, I am acting out of a momentary passion that does not accurately demonstrate my foundation. And the results are often actions which I regret, because they don't proclaim the person Jesus calls me to be. Maybe this is why when people get angry, they often say, "I forgot myself". They really did! Jesus calls me to act lovingly even when I am angry, to be kind even when I am afraid, to be considerate even when my feelings cry out for revenge. It is those intentions that I am called to live out, and which endure past and through the momentary fluctuations of emotions.

Prayer: Dear God, Help me remember who I am and whose I am, even when my emotions run strong, so that I may live out the life of love you call me to. Amen

But I will weep

Jeremiah 48:30-31 “I know” God’s decree, “her rooster-crowing pride, the inflated claims, the sheer nothingness of Moab. But I will weep for Moab, yes, I will mourn the nation of Moab.”

Jeremiah is calling down the judgment of God on Moab because it failed to respond to His call and worshipped the gods of the fertility shrines. In a sense, these are God’s enemies, and the judgment against them is just, and yet God weeps, God mourns and has compassion for them in their fate.

In this heated election season, it is easy to fall prey to the demonizing of those who oppose us. Negative ads abound, accusations fly, sometimes from the campaigns themselves, sometimes from the self-appointed pundits of the 24-hour news cycle. It’s easy to forget in the back and forth that we are all Americans, we are all striving for what we think is best for our country. We are all human beings with faults and challenges, but touched by the same divine spark. Like a couple on the edge of divorce, battling over what’s best for our child, we need to recognize that all of us are needed to make this country the best it can be. We need conservatives and liberals, Democrats and Republicans, business people and artists, what the prayer book used to call all sorts and conditions of men. Longfellow said, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies we would find sorrow enough to disarm all hostility.” Jesus said, “Love your enemy.” Our very future as a country depends on our willingness and ability to do just that.

Prayer: Dear God, I know I harbor judgment and anger against those who oppose my views. Cleanse my heart and clear my vision so that I can hear their valid concerns, see their best intentions, and know them as an expression of Your Divine Love.

Amen.

Fountains of Tears

Jeremiah 9:1 I wish my head were a well of water and my eyes fountains of tears, so I could weep day and night for casualties among my dear, dear people.

Sometimes I feel like Jeremiah when I read or hear of or even think about all the terrible things going on in the world. Could there be enough tears, enough sorrow and grief for all the victims of violence and genocide? Of injustice and oppression? Of earthquake, storm and fire? How do I keep my heart open to the world’s pain without drowning in it?

I guess this is what I think the purpose of faith in God is, and the purpose of the practices of faith: prayer, meditation, community, reading scripture. It is in these experiences of the Presence of God that my self is grounded and out of which my compassion springs. Later on Jeremiah quotes God saying don’t brag about anything except that you understand and know me. Well, I’d certainly never claim that I understand God. Who can understand the ultimate mystery? But that I know God, that these practices keep me in touch with God, or at least open to God’s Presence, this is the foundation of my faith, the ground of my Being.

I feel as if I am coming up through thick, heavy water filled with seaweed, marsh grass and layers and layers of debris, as if I have been underwater for some time and I am still struggling to get to the surface. It is slow getting back into this practice, but I am still drawn here and find, like today, that if I persist in my efforts, I have the reward of sitting here and speaking from my heart to my unknown audience. I will keep trying to recover some consistency and ask whoever you are or aren’t to be patient, hold me in your hearts and keep coming back.

Prayer: Dear God, There are times I know You and Your will for me so clearly, and others that I am caught up in doubt, second guessing and confusion. Help me persevere so that my life can be a song of Your Presence serenading the world. Amen.

Love him with all you've got

Deuteronomy 6:5 Love God, your God, with your whole heart; love him with all that’s in you; love him with all you’ve got.

I had a very difficult week-end, full of stress and the feeling that things had backslid terribly. I was feeling discouraged, depressed, hopeless, futile, anxious and despairing about my situation. Then this verse arrested me and made me think.

If I am really trying to do what is described here, is there room for anything else? If this is my plan for the day, all my anxieties fall into place; none of them is about this and yet this is what’s important. So can I let go of the circumstances that call forth despair and hopelessness and just focus on God and how I can love God with everything that I have and everything that I am? If I attend to God, perhaps I don’t need to attend to anything else.

So I asked myself, how will I love and worship God today? And the answer came: by caring for myself, caring for my partner and my family; by using gentleness and kindness instead of anger and judgment, compassion instead of hate, for myself as well as for others; by holding fast to my goal and God’s promise in the face of doubt and fear and lack of progress; by moving forward even when the pace is painfully slow; by rejoicing in all my blessings and working to manifest God’s peace and beauty in my physical surroundings; by loving life, creation and all whom I meet; by holding it all reverently, being present with it all using an open and compassionate heart; by being present; by being.

Prayer: Dear God, You fill my life with unending joy and peace if I can only stay open to You. Bring my attention to Your will for my life so that everything else sits in proper perspective to the overpowering awe of Your Presence. Amen.

You didn't notice me

Amos 4:10b But you didn’t notice me. You continued to ignore me.

Everyone wants to be noticed. One of the deepest human longings is to be seen by someone else, and that longing is what drives the quest for intimacy. It’s what children most desire from their parents and what partners most need from each other. Too often, the patterns of every day living, the small adjustments made to avoid conflict come between partners and get in the way of really seeing each other. Instead, I see the person who disappointed me or hurt my feelings, and slowly, incrementally, my reactions to past events block out the shape and essence of the person standing in front of me.

So how do we get back to really seeing each other, paying attention that is really giving each other our full attention the way we do in those first heady rushes of falling in love? How do I wipe the glass clear of the past so I can gaze without hindrance on the face of my beloved? Perhaps this can help: Can I see the other with the eyes of God? Can I see the face of God in my partner’s face and open my eyes to the wonder of who he or she is? Can I see anew with the eyes of Love?

Prayer: Dear God, As I struggle to move forward in a way that pleases You and honors us all, help me to use your eyes and heart to truly apprehend my partner, who he is and what he needs. Then give me clarity to properly discern my path. Amen.

Rebekah loved Jacob

Genesis 25:28 Isaac loved Esau because he loved his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

What is it that makes a parent love one child more than another? Isaac’s was a utilitarian love; he loved Esau’s game, so he loved Esau. But Rebekah loved Jacob, with no explanation. It suggests a wild, unreasoning love, a love born of tenderness and care. Jacob was also a quiet man, who loved the tents, whereas Esau was a more traditional male, a big game hunter. Did Rebekah love Jacob because of his quieter, more reflective nature? Because he stayed close to his mother? Isaac, also, was very close to his mother, so you could say that we have two patriarchs who are what some might call “Momma’s boys”. I know that there was a time – the 70’s perhaps – when feminists worried about how they would raise their sons. Do I stand against the culture, “feminize” him (that is allow him his softer, gentler side) and set him up for teasing and humiliation at other boys’ hands? Or do I support this notion of maleness that is so destructive in our world, the warrior, the tough guy, the unrepentant stoic? I chose to raise my son in a relationship, with all the ambiguities, compromises and balancing that goes on to support both people in maintaining connection. I think that, so far, it is serving him well, and he is also a quiet man, who is close to his mother. With only the one child, I don’t know anything about loving one’s own children differently.

But Rebekah loved Jacob, with a certain wildness and abandon. She plots and schemes to get Jacob the blessing of the firstborn, instead of its rightful heir, Esau. And even though God has told her that the older son will bow down to the younger son, does that justify the fraud she perpetrates on her old, nearly blind husband? Is she cleverly making sure God’s prophecy is fulfilled, or is she taking action that is only generously redeemed by God’s grace? What does love call us to do for our children, and what do we need to let them do themselves? And when does love call us to do something reckless, wrong, that we must resist? We don’t hear from Rebekah again, so perhaps that was the cost of what she did: to be separated from the child she loved.

No answers today, only questions. When is it the call of God and when is it our own vaulting ambition? When does love call us to leave the path of God, and when is it a tightly woven part of that path? When does love of another come at the expense of love of God? Sometimes scripture doesn’t lay it all out clearly, but calls us to a consideration of ambiguity, complexity, paradox. And so, in the words of Rilke, we must live the questions.

Prayer: Dear God, It is difficult when your guidance is not clear and clean. Love is powered by your spirit, but love can pull us off the track if it is not aligned with your purposes and your statutes. Help me discern, as I walk the path of love, your hand in all I do, that the love I share and the love I express reflect the true love you hold for the world and all your creation. Amen

I'll gladly look like a fool

2Samuel 6:22

“Oh yes, I’ll dance to God’s glory—more recklessly even than this. And as far as I’m concerned…I’ll gladly look like a fool…but among these maids you’re so worried about, I’ll be honored no end.”

David is speaking to his wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter, who has criticized his extravagant dance before the Ark of the Covenant as he brought it home to Jerusalem. And it reminds me of something Paul said, about God using the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. My devotion to this path can indeed look like foolishness to others. I know many who believe that my staying in this relationship as long as I have was foolish. And there are many other ways that the command to love God first, and love others as oneself can look very foolish to those on the outside. But God invites us to be foolish, indeed, to be reckless in our foolishness, in the extravagance of our love toward God and toward others. Having been foolish, I can move forward knowing that I gave this relationship everything I had; that I can continue to love this other person even as I know that living together is impossible. I am not talking about the “love is blind” type of foolishness, where someone ignores the realities in front of their eyes. I’m talking about moving forward together knowing all the things that stand in the way, seeing clearly the emotional challenges and being willing to take them on, to give myself totally to living out love in my relationship, even at cost to myself. Having done that, though I may not have been able to please my partner, I have faith that I have pleased God. And ultimately that is more important.

Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for the loving concern I know you have for me, and for my partner. I am so grateful for your presence in my life, for your tender guidance like velvet ropes that lead me in the way to your heart. Give me courage as I move forward to continue in my foolishness; keep my heart open so that I can continue to pour out your love extravagantly into the world you have placed me in. And fill me with your peace as I continue to move through so many feelings over this ending. Amen.

God forbid that I should have done this

1Samuel 24:5-6

Immediately he felt guilty. He said to his men, “God forbid that I should have done this to my master, God’s anointed, that I should so much as raise a finger against him. He’s God’s anointed!”

Saul is on a rampage, trying to get David and kill him. But God has given David this amazing opportunity: David sneaks into the cave where Saul is sleeping and cuts off a corner of his robe. David’s men want him to kill Saul, but David refuses. So here is a guy who is going after David, determined to kill him, but because God had anointed him, David won’t return his aggression with more aggression. Even though David himself has been anointed, by Samuel, and knows he is the next king of Israel, he is patient and ready to let God bring it about in his own time and his own way and until that happens, he is ready to be Saul’s loyal follower. And in the meantime, he refuses to do harm to the one who seeks to do him harm.

What an example! I have trouble not retaliating against people who speak nasty to me, or are mean to me in some way, but none of them threaten my life, or even my livelihood. David could have been “justified” in retaliating against Saul, could have even called it self-defense. That’s what I do when I am nasty back, or attack someone who has hurt my feelings. I feel justified – they hurt me! I’m entitled to defend myself! But someone very wise once said “The devil is in the justification.” In the long run, I am not responsible for other people’s behaviors, only my own. While I may be able to justify unloving behaviors on the basis of what others have done to me, that is the devil’s handiwork. God calls me to act in loving ways, even when my feelings get hurt, whether it is a stranger, or someone close to me. That is the hard work of loving.

Prayer: Dear God, I know you call me to be loving to others, even when they are not behaving well toward me. I also know you don’t expect me to be a doormat. Help me to find that right balance of honoring myself, and extending myself in a loving way towards others, treating them as I would have them treat me, even when they don’t respond in kind.

My first post

1Peter 4:8

"Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins"

Love each other deeply, that means fully with everything you've got. I think I have always thought of this as meaning when you love someone a lot you don't notice their faults because your love them so much, your love covers over their faults. That is, love invites you to accept them fully, faults and all. Or, as in the love is blind idea, gets you to ignore them. But I wonder if what Peter is referring to here is the redemptive work of love; that is, as I love another person deeply, with all I have, it calls out of me my best self. The actual work of love, of caring for another human being leads me away from my own faults, invites me away from a me-centered view of the universe, and so calls me into a better life. And further on that theme, when my life is weighed in the balance, the love I have carried, the love I have born for others in my life, and the actions I have taken to enact that love will weigh more heavily in the scales than a multitude of my sins. And if sin is that which keeps us apart from God, and if God is love, then the very act of loving draws us toward a closer intimacy with God without room for the splitting apart of sin.
And I want to include a bigger chunk of Peter's epistle here, because it seems to me as good a recipe for Christian discipleship as any given in the Bible.

1Peter4:8-11a

Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If you speak, you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If you serve, you should do so with the strength that God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.

Prayer: Dear God, Teach me to love others as you love me, with full acceptance of who they are, that they may see, through me, your all encompassing love which is available to all. Amen