Lion's teeth

Ecclesiasticus 21:2 Flee from sins as from a snake; for if you approach sin, it will bite you. It's teeth are lion's teeth, and can destroy human lives.

I love the way sin is compared here to a wild animal. In Biblical times, people had a healthy respect for wild animals, but you here more and more stories these days about people who have tried to befriend them, insisting that things are safe, only to end up paying dearly for it. I've heard stories about alligators, lions and tigers, and then there's "Grizzly Man" who spent summers roaming with the bears in Alaska. A documentary was made about him after he was killed by a bear. People forget these are wild animals, and that it only takes one bad event to lose a limb or your life.

I think a lot of people look on this notion of sin as just taking the fun out of life, as the idea that everything that's fun is wrong, and keeping away from "sin" ruins the enjoyment life offers. Sin, in my book, is whatever dislodges God from center stage, and the reason we are warned away from such things is the potential they carry to destroy lives, just like wild animals can do. The change happens when you think you can control the animals -- or the behavior -- and find that instead, it is controlling you. Take the example of using alcohol or drugs. Many people can do these things responsibly, but others fall into an abyss that often takes their families with them. The problem for young people is they don't know yet which category they belong to, and probably won't know that they've slipped into the destructive category until a lot of damage has already been done. It's like people playing with wild animals, not realizing the power the animal possesses to harm them. The sin, whatever behavior is involved, has moved from being the sideline in my life to the main event, without my even noticing or really being aware. Sometimes great efforts are expended, as in the case of drugs or alcohol, to get the person to realize how much the behavior is affecting the family and others close to him or her. That may prompt a change of direction, a repentance which literally means turning around, or the behavior may continue unabated leaving more destruction in its wake.

So what is the temptation in my life, the behavior, the sin that could threaten the role of God as central to my life? I suspect for me it's pride, the sense of self-sufficiency that says, "I can handle this, I can figure it out myself," until I find myself in over my head having lost that connection to God as the source, the one in charge of my life, and I find myself scrambling to regain it. Better for me to recognize my need of God on a daily basis through the nurturing of practices such as this one.

Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for this practice and how it keeps me connected to my need for you, your role as my guiding star. Help me nurture that connection by laying before you all the circumstances of my life, asking for your love and guidance. Amen.

Turn back to the Lord

Ecclesiasticus 17:25 Turn back to the Lord and forsake your sins; pray in his presence and lessen your offense.

When I read this verse, it really resonated, but I wasn't sure at first why. What sins did I need to forsake? And then I realized that I have been mulling over the past, mistakes that I made in my life before coming back to my faith -- somehow whatever mistakes I have made since that time I don't regret because of my conviction that walking with God I am on the right path -- and finding myself awash in regrets that I thought I had resolved. As I thought about it, I wondered, "How is that sin?" I knew I didn't like it or the feelings it brought up; I feel stupid and helpless and sad and judgmental and critical. And then I realized that I was indulging in an exercise of self-sabotage as in, "Oh, my mistake was really bad, because it kept me from achieving this other thing, and thwarted my destiny," and on and on; it's an endless loop of self reproach that preoccupies my mind and stops me from focusing on God and appreciating all the blessings that God has bestowed on me in this life. It short circuits gratitude and fills me up with a certain kind of self-importance. "I should have known better! I should have done it right! I should be able to avoid mistakes, unlike everyone else in the world." That's pride. We all know that pride is one of the seven deadlies. I have also come to believe that it is my particular bugaboo.

Today this was reinforced as I sat in on a conversation with some people who could have given up after their mistakes, but instead are reclaiming their lives. Who am I to complain when I have been the unworthy recipient of so much privilege? Verse 30 says "For not everything is within human capability." Like perfection. Only God is perfect. These "mistakes" are part of who I am as a flawed human being, they are part of the circumstances that have brought me to where I am today, those that led directly to my reaching out to God, reconnecting with my faith and bringing me on this wonderful journey that I am on. When I dwell on the past, which cannot be changed in this material world of three dimensions, it eclipses the joy and satisfaction I have found in the present, challenges my faith and gets me doubting my purpose, and that means doubting the very path God is calling me to. Only by restoring God as the central focus of my thoughts, can I regain the sense of joy and peace that are the fruits of my spiritual path.

Prayer: Dear God, I am troubled again by the voices of the past, drawn into practices of doubt, regret, comparison and self-judgment. Let me focus my thoughts on You; call me back into Your Grace so that I may know the purpose You have set for me. Let me trust Your infinite wisdom to guide me on my path. Amen.