He slipped away by himself

Matthew 14:13, 23 When Jesus got the news, he slipped away by boat to an out-of-the-way place by himself...He stayed there alone, late into the night.

The "news" is the beheading of John the Baptist, the Forerunner, as the Eastern Orthodox refer to him, but also Jesus' cousin. What did that news foreshadow for him about what was to come? What sorrow did it bring up, that lonely night on the mountain? Did he pray for John? for Elizabeth, John's mother, and Mary, his own? It must have been a great loss to him. He needed to be alone, to pray, to reflect, just to allow his responses time to work themselves out.

I need time alone, too, sometimes, to process challenging situations, to deal with complex emotions, relationships, events, that I am trying to figure out, trying to understand in the context of my life, my faith. It takes time and quiet and solitude to come to clarity about where I stand in relationship to some of the difficulties that arise from living. And sometimes, there's nothing in particular going on, I just need some time alone to decompress. Like now, I am in Mississippi, at Mission on the Bay, a joint project of Episcopal Relief and Development, and Lutheran and Episcopal Services in MS trying to rebuild the coast from the devastation left by Hurricane Katrina. Yes, there's still lots of work to be done! My church sends a group here once or twice a year, and we spend the day working on houses: doing carpentry, painting, installing cabinets, floors and roofs, even windows and doors, plumbing, just about anything you can think of. This week I have been tiling floors.

It's great fun, working with wonderful people, and we always have a good time, despite how tiring it is. But from morning to night -- waking up and walking into the bathroom that's already full of people (there are 80 some here this week, although they often have up to 200), eating, working all day at the job site, dinner and evening, reading or chatting in the common room -- there are people around. I have to be very conscious of my need for a little quiet solitude every once in a while, or I'll start getting cranky and irritable and not really know why. Or I'll start feeling stressed and lose that sense of light-hearted enjoyment, that joy of service which is a lot of why I come. There is no better example of how to deal with life's difficulties, or even just the importance of a little alone time than that of Jesus climbing up a mountain to pray alone and undisturbed.

Prayer: Dear God, Help me recognize those times when I need to be alone to sort through what life presents to me. Help me hearken to the call of solitude. Amen

the Temple of God

1Corinthians 3:13 You realize don't you that you are the Temple of God, and God Himself is present in you?

What does it mean to be God's Temple? God is the source of the sacred fire burning within me that brings me life. But that fire must be tended, and the Temple cared for if it is to be a place where God's Presence can shine like a light into the world. So I need to tend to the fire, the spirit within, through all my spiritual practices -- like this reading and writing, like my contemplative practices and being part of a supportive community. And I need to tend the Temple by keeping it in good repair attending to its needs, providing the right fuel so all of its systems run effectively.

My church recently completed a renovation of our Parish Hall. It took literally years to get the right plan executed. At first the plans were grandiose--a big expansion of our footprint and a huge budget. What we ended up with was no increase in actual floor space, but a well designed much less expensive and more efficient use of the space we have. And now the electricity works, the systems are reliable, the windows open -- it's a beautifully designed but simply executed space that really addresses the congregations' needs. Our bodies are the same way. They need the right fuel -- good healthy food -- and environment -- physical and lots of fresh air -- in order to be healthy so that we can carry out God's work. We need to get our systems checked periodically and address issues before they get serious if we can. Our bodies are the Temples of God and need to be treated with respect.

Prayer: Dear God, Holiday times are indulgent times, yet I know that's not always best for my body. Help me keep in mind that I am your Temple when I make choices this holiday season. Amen

A signpost erected between Me and them

Ezekiel 20:12      I also gave them my weekly holy rest days, my "Sabbaths", a kind of signpost erected between me and them to show them that I, God, am in the business of making them Holy.

Last week-end, I did too much, didn't really take a full Sabbath the way I have been, and I could really feel the difference!  I woke up lethargic on Monday, less focused, feeling rushed, and perhaps a bit chided by God.  This is important, I remind myself.  And Ezekiel, here, touches on what makes the Sabbath so important.

Like a sign, a border or an altar of rocks, the Sabbath sets apart time for God.  It marks off the Holy from the ordinary, creates sacred time for me to come back to basics, to my root, my foundation, a sign to God and me and the world about where my primary allegiance lies.  It is fallow time, time to fill the well, to fill up with Presence through slowing down and resting, letting go and surrendering it all to God.  I worship, yes, but also rest, to show that I am a mere human; God is in charge, not me.  God can do it all without my help.  It is an exercise in humility, a recognition that I can withdraw from the world for a day and nothing falls apart, because none of it really depends on me, even though it may feel that way at times.  This setting apart is how God makes me whole, holy, integrated.  It provides balance for activity, a period of restoration, of full reliance on the Spirit to replenish my soul, so that I can re-enter the world with a full tank, ready to live the life God calls me to, ready to respond to the world's need with all that I am and all that I have.  "Life" ceases for one day, which brings more energy and focus to my activity when it resumes. It is a time to pause and reflect, see myself in true perspective, to be present with the One Living God, the Holy Presence, right now, for a whole day of stillness and peace.

Prayer:     Dear God,     In this time of the holidays, it is easy to get overscheduled and forget what it is all really about.  Help me remember that the most important thing I can do during Advent is not shop for presents, or go to concerts, or even visit friends, but to spend time with You, and rest in Your eternal changelessness.     Amen.

Life has gotten so busy, so it seems a good time to put up something I wrote some time ago. It has become such a necessity for my life, a weekly renewal of spirit, that I wanted to share it with you.

Exodus 20:8 Observe the Sabbath Day to keep it holy.

I thought it appropriate here to share with you my Sabbath practice. God set aside one day in the week for rest. We live in a 24/7 world. Many among us are working at demanding jobs – sometimes 2 or 3 – in an effort to take care of our families. Others just keep going 24/7 because we don’t know how to stop. The biggest health crisis in the country may be lack of rest, and the insatiable urges that are the result. Taking time each week to do nothing, but just rest in the Presence, could be the most important thing we can do for our health and wellbeing. At least, that’s what I decided was right for me.

I started by speaking to a couple of Jewish friends who observe Sabbath to find out what they do. Then I focused on what steps I could commit to. On Saturday evening at sundown I light 2 candles and say a short prayer. I turn off the TV, the computer, the radio and don’t answer the phone until Sunday evening. I try to refrain from any activity that invites me into achievement or accomplishment. Abraham Herschel, in his poetic meditation on The Sabbath, speaks of the kind of rest you have when there is nothing more to be done; it is all finished; that is the attitude I try to bring to my Sabbath time. Some Sundays all I do is go to church and sleep. On Monday morning, through, I usually find myself refreshed and ready to move forward again, spiritually recharged. Many people cannot set aside a whole day, but even an hour or two of quiet rest without expectations or distractions can reconnect you with Spirit.

So that is why I don’t blog on Sunday.

Prayer: Dear God, We live in a world that constantly calls us to do, and measures us by what or how well we do, when all You want from us is to Be Present. Teach us to stop and be still and rest in your Divine Arms, knowing that to come back to You is to come back to ourselves. Amen.

Observe the Sabbath

Exodus 20:8 Observe the Sabbath Day to keep it holy.

I thought it appropriate here to share with you my Sabbath practice. God set aside one day in the week for rest. We live in a 24/7 world. Many among us are working at demanding jobs – sometimes 2 or 3 – in an effort to take care of our families. Others just keep going 24/7 because we don’t know how to stop. The biggest health crisis in the country may be lack of rest, and the insatiable urges that are the result. Taking time each week to do nothing, but just rest in the Presence, could be the most important thing we can do for our health and wellbeing. At least, that’s what I decided was right for me. I started by speaking to a couple of Jewish friends who observe Sabbath to find out what they do. Then I focused on what steps I could commit to. On Saturday evening at sundown I light 2 candles and say a short prayer. I turn off the TV, the computer, the radio and don’t answer the phone until Sunday evening. I try to refrain from any activity that invites me into achievement or accomplishment. Abraham Herschel, in his poetic meditation on The Sabbath, speaks of the kind of rest you have when there is nothing more to be done; it is all finished; that is the attitude I try to bring to my Sabbath time. Some Sundays all I do is go to church and sleep. One Monday morning, through, I find myself refreshed and ready to move forward again. Many people cannot set aside a whole day, but even an hour or 2 of quiet rest without expectations or distractions can reconnect you with Spirit.

So that is why I don’t blog on Sunday.

Prayer: Dear God, We live in a world that constantly calls us to do, and measures us by what or how well we do, when all you want from us is to Be Present. Teach us to stop and be still and rest in your Divine Arms, knowing that coming back to you is to come back to ourselves. Amen.

Making Choices to Take Care of Myself

Today I read the story of Samson (Judges 13:1 - 16:31). Boy, that is one bloody, vicious story! So, today nothing called me from the Bible, but I did find something in Courage to Change, which is from the 12-Step programs, and something I also include in my daily reflections.
...the lesson that detachment teaches. When I sense that a situation is dangerous to my physical, mental or spiritual well-being, I can put extra distance between myself and the situation. This doesn't mean I stop loving the person, only that I acknowledge the risks to my own well being and make choices to take care of myself.
What a perfect description, not only of the action of detachment but also its purpose of self-care! It's also a way to save me from the trial, keep me from the temptation to behave in ways that I don't like, from things that pull me off my path, call me away from what nurtures and supports me. How do I help from getting sucked into some whirlwind of activity someone else has gotten into? How do I keep "people-pleasing" from seducing me into eating what I don't want and eating more than I want? The biggest thing about this, I think, is the permission to say "no". When something is not in my best interests--like staying up late to watch another TV show--or is, like being honest about my likes and dislikes and not going to movies I know will leave me feeling hopeless and discouraged, I can say "no" to take care of myself. I need to hew to my own agenda, the path God calls me to, which includes times of stillness and solitude. These are just some of the ways that I can use detachment to support my walk in faith. As my rector says, "No is a spiritual word." Detachment doesn't mean lack of love or compassion, but it does proceed from the recognition that I am not responsible for other people's feelings, that God has called me to a particular path and I won't find my way going down other people's roads or by trying to drag them down mine; that love and intimacy can live with and even thrive with distinction and difference as much as sameness; that my responsibility is to follow God's call as well as I can and not be sidetracked by what other people want from me.

Prayer: Dear God, Thank you for a powerful reminder of why and how to keep the boundaries I need clear and strong. Keep your will clear and strong before me so that I can stand up to the temptations that pull me away. Amen