They don't act like it

Hosea 8:2 Predictably, Israel cries out, “My God! We know you!” But they don’t act like it.

We all know people who profess to be “Christian”, but they don’t act like it. They’re mean, spiteful and judgmental. They hate their enemies and aren’t too crazy about their neighbors. They’re out for themselves, oblivious to the needs and experience of those around them. They’re the kind of Christians that give Christianity a bad name.

But then I have to ask, ‘What do people see when they look at me in the world?’ Do they see someone who is passionate about living out Christ’s call or someone who’s just as caught up in the pettiness of life as anyone else? I’d guess that what they see in large part depends on my mood that day. My rector likes to tell stories about moments when she is just about to unload all her annoyance and irritation on some service person or other, and they say something like, “Oh, I know you! You’re the rector at that church…” Then she has to think before she descends to hate and vitriol. It reminds her of who she is, of whose she is, and she chooses to address the situation differently. I wear a cross around my neck. Mostly it’s a witness to who I am, but I think also it’s a reminder that if I am to embody Christ in the world, I need to be accountable. That cross helps me; it lets other people see who I am trying to be, and as such it keeps me honest.

Prayer: Dear God, Help me remember whose I am when I walk around in the world, and that my purpose in life is to be Your Presence to others. Amen.

*I am off to a week in Mississippi working on houses for Katrina relief. Don't know if I'll be able to post while I am there -- it's a busy week! I'll be back the following week.

Recognizing God

Hosea 5:4b They wouldn’t recognize God if they saw me.

Do I recognize God in my life? Can I see the Hand of the Divine at work in my world? If God is everywhere, then God is always here with me now. What does it take to open my senses to God’s presence? Huston Smith, a religious scholar who has been interviewed frequently by Bill Moyers, wrote in one of his books that: Atheists believe there is no God, polytheists believe there are many gods, monotheists believe there is one God and mystics believe there is only God. Ever since I read that I’ve known that mysticism called to me. Einstein said that either nothing is a miracle, or everything is a miracle. It’s a choice, and I choose the wonder and curiosity of the miraculous every time. But choosing and living are not the same. How do I live the awareness of the Presence of the Holy One?

Karen Armstrong points out that the God of the mystics is approached primarily through the organ of the creative imagination, the image-making, non-linear side of the brain. In the book My Stroke of Insight, its author describes her experience of oceanic transcendence as a stroke put her linear, left brain out of commission. And what is the benefit? A sense of deep peace and connection with all that is, the life all around us: other people, other species and all of creation.

So today, my intention is to see God everywhere I look, in ugliness as well as beauty, in struggle as well as peace, in raucous activity as well as quietness. I can only do that by slowing down, breathing and taking each moment as it comes, encouraging myself to notice the silence between the words, the ineffable in everything I touch, and to behold it all with the heart of compassion.

Prayer: Dear God, I long to see Your presence and beauty every moment of my life. Open the eyes of my heart to better apprehend Your Divine Being all around me in the people and things of the every day. Amen.

You didn't notice me

Amos 4:10b But you didn’t notice me. You continued to ignore me.

Everyone wants to be noticed. One of the deepest human longings is to be seen by someone else, and that longing is what drives the quest for intimacy. It’s what children most desire from their parents and what partners most need from each other. Too often, the patterns of every day living, the small adjustments made to avoid conflict come between partners and get in the way of really seeing each other. Instead, I see the person who disappointed me or hurt my feelings, and slowly, incrementally, my reactions to past events block out the shape and essence of the person standing in front of me.

So how do we get back to really seeing each other, paying attention that is really giving each other our full attention the way we do in those first heady rushes of falling in love? How do I wipe the glass clear of the past so I can gaze without hindrance on the face of my beloved? Perhaps this can help: Can I see the other with the eyes of God? Can I see the face of God in my partner’s face and open my eyes to the wonder of who he or she is? Can I see anew with the eyes of Love?

Prayer: Dear God, As I struggle to move forward in a way that pleases You and honors us all, help me to use your eyes and heart to truly apprehend my partner, who he is and what he needs. Then give me clarity to properly discern my path. Amen.

Going to the same place?

Amos 3:3 Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?

Amos is laying out examples of natural consequences as a prophet foretelling judgment on both Israel and Judah, but this line got me thinking about relationships.

At the start of a relationship, people take hands, assuming they’re going to the same place. When their goals become clearer and still the same, they may marry. But what happens if, as they walk down the path of marriage together, they grow and change and start wanting to go to different places? Then, they start pulling on each other, each one wanting the other to join them on their path and what you can end up with is a full-on power struggle. What they don’t see is that their paths are diverging, that they need to let go, follow their paths and see if they come together again, at a different stage of life perhaps. I think of couples with small children, where one is working outside the home, and the other is immersed in a world of first diapers and feedings, then play dates, school, meals and so on. They both feel their contribution is undervalued, that the partner doesn’t understand their experience. Many will reconnect as the children get older, but other couples find themselves, after the children have left, with a partner they’ve completely lost touch with. Then they need to ask, “Are we headed in the same direction?”

It’s difficult to see when the road divides, and it gets harder and harder to hold onto the partner’s hand. A good question at that time might be, “Where are we going? Do we still want the same things in life? Or is it time to let go?”

Prayer: Dear God, You call us into relationship and I wonder, do You sometimes call us out of them as well? Help me discern the path that is best for both of us, that will call us both into a fuller, richer life in You. Amen.

He makes his move

2Chronicles 22:12-23:1 He was there with her, hidden away for six years in the Temple of God. Athaliah, oblivious to his existence, ruled the country. In the seventh year the priest Jehoiada decided to make his move and worked out a strategy…

Queen Athaliah, after the death of her son, the King of Judah, has ruthlessly murdered all the King’s brothers so that she might rule instead. She doesn’t know that baby Joash has been saved, hidden away in the Temple of God. Jehoiada the priest knows about Joash, but he doesn’t reveal the boy right away. He bides his time, until the time is ripe, and then makes his move.

How often have I leapt to get something done only to have it blow up in my face? How often have I stubbornly persisted in something, just wanting to get it completed, only to have it get hopelessly messed up in the process? When is the time to let go, and recognize the time is not right, and when should I persevere to follow through on my intentions? Jehoiada waited, and developed a strategy, and when the time was ready, he acted. Perhaps this is one of the greatest fruits of my walk in faith, is the ability to wait when necessary, and act wholeheartedly when the time is ready. As long as I see myself as in control, the responsibility thoroughly on my shoulders, I tend to keep plunging along, even though everything around me is telling me that things are not going as they should. Faith, and the recognition that God is in control and all I need to do is to surrender to God’s will, empowers me to see what exists, wait till the moment is right, and act with purpose out of my whole being. That is what I would call Right Action, and, especially with messy, human situations, it is usually the most effective action. When I can wait with God, my whole being in readiness until the moment arises, my action is then a direct response to circumstances and is able to cooperate with the conditions which have arisen, rather than trying through blind will to force a solution that I think is right, but may not be the best overall.

Prayer: Dear God, I know that Your will unfolding in me and my life offers my best hope for fulfillment. Give me patience and courage to abide with You, trusting that Your Divine Hand will lead the way and call right action forth from me when the time is right. And give me confidence to know that I will have the ability to do all that is necessary, and that You will provide whatever else I need. Amen.

Just stand firm

2Chronicles 20:17a You won’t have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm.

Sometimes all that is required of us in difficult situations is to show up and hold our ground.

I get very intimidated by difficult conversations. I try to plan out what I want to say, figure out what’s going to happen. I think of all the fancy retorts I can use, plan the battle strategy, figure out my defensive positions. In other words, I get ready for battle. All the fear and anxiety, though, ends up shutting me down, and I put it off, distracting myself with books and other enterainments. This verse reminded me that a conversation, especially a difficult one, doesn’t require a battle plan or a defensive strategy. I am called to be a peacemaker, or at least not to retaliate, so I don’t really need all that thinking and planning, which doesn’t get me anywhere anyway. This understanding of my call, and the knowledge that God is with me, allows me to engage in a difficult conversation, say what I need to say in as gentle a manner as I can, and hold my ground in whatever emotional upheaval occurs without responding in kind. In this way, I honor the path God calls me to, I honor the cherished child of God that my partner is, and I honor myself as well.

Don’t just do something; stand there! Sometimes, when God is in charge, that is all that is needed.

Prayer: Dear God, I am so grateful for the way that You lift these heavy burdens off my shoulders when I am willing to surrender my agenda to You. Give me the strength, courage and confidence to meet my difficulties with equanimity and compassion for all the others involved, that I may reflect Your love to those around me. Amen.

Cursed things

This entry from the archives lifted my spirits, and helped me deal with a difficult week this morning:

Joshua 7:13 You won’t be able to face your enemies until you have gotten rid of your cursed things.

Joshua, the invincible, has lost an important battle. He prostrates himself before the Lord to find out what is wrong. The problem is one of his men have kept precious things from a previous battle, things which are tainted with the Canaanite gods, and were to be destroyed. It struck me that there is a deep, psychological truth here. The cursed things within us – our hatreds, our greed and covetousness, our projections of our evil impulses onto others and our arrogant holding on to only “positive” traits, that make us look and sound good -- all these things divide us internally, give us vulnerable attack points. It is only when we acknowledge, accept and are cleansed of their power – that is cleansed of the curse of them because we recognize the fault in us—that we can stand firmly in our own integrity, unassailable. These are the tools, the weapons our ‘enemies’ use against us, but if we acknowledge them and hold them ourselves, they can’t trip us up. This is the genius of 12-Step. It gets us focused where we have the most power, addressing our own behavior. Then, when we take a stand, we are standing for something – ourselves and what we need and deserve rather than against the other person, in all their brokenness. If we don’t attack, we are not as vulnerable to counter-attack, and if we know our faults, we can stand strong in who we are, the broken places stronger than the smooth ones because of the power of healing. It is through our brokenness that we actually can form strong alliances with others, a cohesiveness that comes from sharing brokenness stronger than that which comes from sharing strength, because it is more true.

Prayer: Dear God Help me always to look at myself first, to be ever mindful of my own flaws and brokenness and then to take and hold whatever stand you call me to. Amen