Meditation on the Fires 11.16.08

There is an eerie cast to the day when fires are raging in southern California. A rival light, diffuse on the horizon, dilutes the intensity of the sun's rays even beyond the haze cause by the not-too-distant smoke. A surreal glow tinged a warm yellow hovers in the direction of the fires, the sunsets are ablaze with red, and the wind literally rains ash. I found my newly washed car dusted with gray flakes this morning, like some unruly cosmic dandruff, and it reminded me. Fires are burning. Lives are going up in smoke. Let us pray.

I know the fires in Santa Barbara have already almost completely destroyed a beautiful monastery perched on a hill with a view to the sea: Mt. Calvary, of the Order of the Holy Cross. I have gone there many times on retreat, both alone and with the women from my church. We would sit in the sun porch drinking tea, and looking through the books in their extensive library and wonderful bookstore. We bought cards with calligraphy beautifully crafted by one of the brothers, and walked the nearby labyrinth. We snuggled in big chairs before the fireplace, contemplating the words brought by the retreat leaders, the soul's language. We restored our souls.

Mt. Calvary will be rebuilt, reborn, I hope with even half the charm, and it will continue to nurture spiritual seekers from all over the world. But something irretrievable has been lost. When we next sojourn there it will be new, with a different taste and ambience, and in its newness and freshness it will be unfamiliar territory, turning us into strangers in an alien land, all physical traces of our past blotted out, rather than family returning to the familiar homestead. I want to honor this moment of loss, so much larger for the brothers than for me and my fellow retreatants, even as I look forward to the renewal that will come. For now, the Mt. Calvary that I have known and loved lives only in my heart.

Prayer: Dear God, I pray for your gracious mercy on all those who have lost homes, possessions and even loved ones as a result of the fires. Hold them lovingly in Your Hands, give them strength to endure and remind them of the hope of renewal even among the ashes which is Your everlasting promise. Amen.

Enter the silence

Lamentations 3:28 When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence.

What a surprise, in reading Jeremiah’s poetic ode to the suffering of his people in exile in Babylon, to discover this invitation to partake in an ancient practice. There is such balm in sitting in silence. In today’s world of hyper-stimulation, of 24-7 news cycles, the demands of advertising and the media and the continual bombardment by sounds and images, it’s easy to see how taking a break from all that, and sitting in silence, could be soothing, even though many people don’t do it. It’s kind of amazing to me that, even in a time with no electronic equipment or amplification, when people heard only the sounds that actually existed around them, there was this need and call to go sit in the silence. The Gospels often speak of Jesus, going off by himself to be quiet and pray. In the Christian tradition, Anthony, the first monk, went into the desert for solitude and quiet contemplation, and was soon followed by so many that he started a movement which speaks to the perennial need human beings have for getting away from it all.

I began meditating in 1971, just after graduating from college, because I thought I needed a stronger emotional grounding in my life. I began with Transcendental Meditation, which is from the Hindu tradition and involves the use of a mantra. When I returned to church some years later, and began reading about the contemplative tradition in Christianity, I began doing Centering Prayer, which relies on a sacred word to recall the mind from its meanderings into thought. More recently, I have practiced contemplative prayer in the Thomas Merton tradition, which has many similarities to Buddhist mindfulness practice. Each tradition has its own methodologies, but the common thread is letting go of the incessant thinking that dominates our awareness and becoming aware of the unhurried nature of being in the present moment.

Each day, for 20 or 30 minutes twice a day, I sit in silence. This is the commitment that I have been faithful to for over 35 years, my primary spiritual practice out of which all the others flow. It forms the foundation for my spiritual journey, the fertile ground out of which my faith has grown. I close my eyes and sit comfortably. I may use a sacred word, follow my breath or simply do my best to stay present with what is, gently calling my mind back when it inevitably wanders off into thinking. I abandon any responsibility for doing, for accomplishing, for being in charge, and allow myself simply to be here, in the present moment. I surrender all that I am and all that I have, in that moment, into God’s Hands, and there I find my delight in Her Presence, deep rest and full acceptance of what is.

Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for calling me to you through the practice of sacred silence. Meet me there. Amen.

Reflections on the Election

I am departing from my usual format today, because I feel called to respond to the results of this historic election. I spent last week in Mississippi, helping to restore homes destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, along with people from all over the country. I watched the election returns with a group of young people who are spending a year traveling around the country, contributing their hard work and sweat to all sorts of projects benefiting our nation through the Americorps program. Though they were Obama enthusiasts, I don't think they had the same visceral reaction I did. In some ways, I felt that the hopes I had as a college student in the late 60's were being realized. Though the issues are different, today's youth have been a significant instrument of change, as we had hoped to be back then. Though we were instrumental in stopping a war, it has taken 40 years to create a generation, and a context, that invites the full participation of our youth. That is extremely gratifying and moving to me.

I was also impressed with the response of both candidates to the results. Their speeches were both gracious and unifying, and it reminds me of something that often gets lost. There is much talk of red states and blue states, but in fact there are only purple states. Even in so-called red states, 30 - 49% of the population voted for Obama; in the blue states, a similar percentage voted for McCain. Even as they break down into counties, trying to parse ever and ever smaller units, using the monolithic colors of red and blue hides the reality that while my neighbor may have had an Obama sign on his lawn, a block away there was a McCain sign. And though the real divide may have something to do with rural vs. urban communities, even that breakdown will obscure the complex reality if we use these monolithic labels. Let's remember that we are all Americans wanting what is best for our country as we see it. Perhaps if we can attribute good motives to those who oppose us, we will be better able to listen to what they have to say. Perhaps it is not possible to forge one solution for the problems that beset so many communities; perhaps what we need is local solutions that respond to the complexities of local communities, a whole set of solutions that can be adapted to local needs. Though we are many communities, we are one nation, and now is the time to stand together with all our differences intact, not a melting pot really, more like a casserole.

Prayer: Dear God, It is easy to lump people together and dismiss them when I disagree with their point of view. Help me to see all people as Your beloved children, looking for a way to express Your divine spark, and honor them. Open my heart to hear their point of view, and give me the humility to recognize that I am not always right. Amen.

But I will weep

Jeremiah 48:30-31 “I know” God’s decree, “her rooster-crowing pride, the inflated claims, the sheer nothingness of Moab. But I will weep for Moab, yes, I will mourn the nation of Moab.”

Jeremiah is calling down the judgment of God on Moab because it failed to respond to His call and worshipped the gods of the fertility shrines. In a sense, these are God’s enemies, and the judgment against them is just, and yet God weeps, God mourns and has compassion for them in their fate.

In this heated election season, it is easy to fall prey to the demonizing of those who oppose us. Negative ads abound, accusations fly, sometimes from the campaigns themselves, sometimes from the self-appointed pundits of the 24-hour news cycle. It’s easy to forget in the back and forth that we are all Americans, we are all striving for what we think is best for our country. We are all human beings with faults and challenges, but touched by the same divine spark. Like a couple on the edge of divorce, battling over what’s best for our child, we need to recognize that all of us are needed to make this country the best it can be. We need conservatives and liberals, Democrats and Republicans, business people and artists, what the prayer book used to call all sorts and conditions of men. Longfellow said, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies we would find sorrow enough to disarm all hostility.” Jesus said, “Love your enemy.” Our very future as a country depends on our willingness and ability to do just that.

Prayer: Dear God, I know I harbor judgment and anger against those who oppose my views. Cleanse my heart and clear my vision so that I can hear their valid concerns, see their best intentions, and know them as an expression of Your Divine Love.

Amen.

I'm Not Through With You

Jeremiah 46:10 But it's not your day. It's the Master's, me, God-of-the-Angel-Armies--the day when I have it out with my enemies.

This verse caught me up, aroused in me such a sense of vulnerability, of being out of control, at the mercy of such powerful forces. In Jeremiah's time, it was the Babylonian army being used as God's instrument; today, it's the economy, as well as so much else that is going on in the world and my life. And there is this aspect of judgment, here, too, unforeseen consequences to deregulation, improper mortgages, obtuse investment instruments, the heady greed of prosperity which never satisfies but keeps people striving for more, more, more. I get it. I get caught up in it, too. I love the see the numbers go up in my stock accounts--and now I have to watch them plummet and seesaw. All that lust for money turns to panic that I won't have enough. My economic chickens are definitely coming home to roost!

So what keeps me grounded? I remember the last time the stock market took such a tumble. On October 19, 1987, the Dow dropped 25% (it was at 2000 at the time) and I remember this, not because I was paying attention to the stock market, but because that was the day my beloved husband, father of my only son, was diagnosed with lung cancer. That day was the beginning of his 6 month journey into death and the tearing apart of the family I had waited so long and eagerly for. I couldn't have cared less about the stock market. I knew what was important: him and our fragile family. And when I look back and see all that I lost -- and gained -- through his death, and remember how Jesus carried me through that difficult time, I know I can get through whatever these difficult times have in store for me because God is with me. As long as I walk His Paths, I can deal with whatever happens. As long as She is my foundation, I can withstand the storms. And if I have any doubt, Jeremiah has these words of encouragement: "But I won't finish you off. I have more work to do on you"

Prayer: Dear God, You have given me so many blessings. Open my heart in compassion to all who suffer during these disastrous times and lead me to a new way of living Your call that I may embody Your loving Presence in the world in a transformative way. Amen.

Things Will Get Worse

Jeremiah 45:5 So forget about making any plans for yourself. Things are going to get worse before they get better.


What an eerie echo of today’s mood! Jeremiah is giving God’s word to his assistant, Baruch, after the Babylonian army has taken the kingdom of Judah into exile and devastated the land. Today we are dealing with an economic meltdown whose effects are just beginning to tipple out to the economy. Both situations are unprecedented; greed and corruption also played a role in each. What is God’s advice? Don’t make plans.

I find myself sitting quietly a lot, doing what needs to be done, but not thinking too far ahead. It seems a good time for trust in God. There’s not much I can do anyway, except worry, and that’s no help. So I throw my lot in with god, my rock, my foundation, my salvation. I stay present with God in the now, keeping my thoughts focused on just the next step. I trust that whatever happens I’ll be able to deal with it, with God’s help. I pray and open my heart in compassion for all those who are already suffering far more than I am and I rest in hope for a brighter day ahead. We will get through this. I am sure our lives will be changed, that we will be changed and I pray god’s grace will help us all find a way for the change we are undergoing to be for a new and better way of being in our communities, our country and our world. Crisis is a time of danger and opportunity. I know we all see the danger. I pray that we, and our leaders, also see the opportunity.

Prayer: Dear God, Our country, indeed our world, is going through a time of enormous transition. Help us and our leaders discern Your Guiding Hand taking us to a better way. Help us re-envision our country to better conform to our mission of freedom and justice for all. Amen.

A bunch of Liars

Jeremiah 29:9 Don’t pay any attention to the fantasies they keep coming up with to please you. They’re a bunch of liars preaching lies.

Jeremiah is speaking of the false prophets of his age, those who assuaged the fears of his countrymen by insisting that the Babylonian captivity would be short-lived, that the exiles would be returning home in one or two years, instead of the 70 God had promised. But it brings up an important question in any age: How do you tell the truth tellers – the true prophets – from the liars, the ones who just tell us what we want to hear?

In this election season it seems this question is central. As I watch all the pundits discuss our financial difficulties and analyze the two candidates – and watching the candidates themselves and how they report on each other in their speeches and their ads – it is a continual process of sifting through all the talk to try to discern what is accurate and what is inaccurate, what the situation actually is. And how do I hear the voice of God through all the clamor? This economic meltdown certainly has elements that feel like Judgment: judgment on those who put together these shaky mortgage instruments to make a buck, irresponsible buyers and the abandonment of all regulatory safeguards. And as in the ancient days of the Kingdom of Israel, the whole country is going to feel the effects of this “Judgment”. Looking back at our own situation, we can identify some who tried to warn us of the storm ahead -- these would be the true, economic prophets of our time – but going forward it’s not possible to know who’s telling the truth and who’s not because we really don’t know how things will unfold. Even the effects of the Rescue plan are not predetermined; some say it will work, others that it will help and still others tell us that it’s the wrong solution. It can be very confusing and disheartening and it’s hard to know who to believe.

It must have been like that for the Israelites, too. It’s easy to look back and say, “They should have known God would punish their disloyalty,” but they, like us, were riding high on a bubble of military superiority. They thought it would never end, just as many thought housing prices would always go up, that God was permanently in their corner, some of them right up to the day they were taken into captivity! Looked at it that way, it’s a cautionary tale I can relate to because humanity seems to keep living it out over and over again.

Prayer: Dear God, It’s tempting to feel that I know better than these ancient peoples, that I could have sidestepped their problems, but I see that human beings continue to fall into the same traps. Let that knowledge give me a humble heart and help me keep You in the forefront of my thought. Amen