You pulled me from the grave

Jonah 2:6 I was as far down as a body can go, and the gates were slamming shut behind me forever--Yet you pulled me up from that grave alive, O GOD, my God!

If you know the story of Jonah, you can probably guess where this long prayer comes; you would say he is giving thanksgiving for his deliverance from the whale that swallowed him. If you thought that, though, you'd be wrong. This is the prayer Jonah prays while he is still inside the whale. It is a prayer of thanksgiving for deliverance before that deliverance happens. How many of us have that kind of faith? Not me. Right after it, God speaks to the fish and Jonah is thrown up onto the shore. So here you have this guy, a prophet, with the kind of faith that moves mountains and opens the mouths of whales, and yet he still thinks he can run away from God, can avoid the destiny God is calling him to. It's a conundrum to me. The problem with Jonah is that he doesn't want God to save the Ninevites, to whom he has been called to preach, because they are Israel's enemies, and he doesn't want them to receive the grace and mercy in which he knows that the God he worships abounds. When he's on his game, he's unstoppable; but when he goes against God, he'll do anything, go anywhere to avoid it, and when he is forced to go and preach, and the Ninevites do repent and God relents, his anger is as powerful as his faith.

This whole book ends with a question. God shows Jonah that Jonah changes his mind, from pleasure to pain, just because of a small vine that grows up overnight, provides him some shade, and then dies. Then God asks Jonah, can't God change his mind, too? We never get Jonah's answer. My suspicion is that he's still royally pissed off about the whole thing, that he had to be God's instrument bringing about the salvation of people he hated. It makes me wonder, what are the ways I am standing in the way of God's purposes for me because of my hatreds, or prejudices, or fears. Jonah knew God's power, knew what God wanted of him; that's why he could pray so fearlessly in the belly of the whale, telling God he would go and do what God asked, knowing God so well that his release from the whale was a done deal even before it happened. I only have an inkling of that, and only at times. If I could really see myself where God wants me to be, and I can give thanks for that, joyfully accepting the call, what new possibilities might unfold in my life? What are the fears or prejudices that get in the way, what are the ideas I carry around about what I "should" be doing that may have nothing to do with where God is calling me? How do I get down through all the layers and connect with God's true purpose for my life?

Prayer: Dear God, I think of Thomas Merton's prayer -- I believe I am on the path you call me to, but I have no way of knowing if I truly am or not. Kindle in me a fervent desire to know and follow your will. Show me the obstacles that I myself place in the path, and teach me how to overcome them. Know that my true longing is to fulfill the destiny you have ordained for me. Amen.