Let us make a name for ourselves

1Maccabees 5:57 So they said, "let us also make a name for ourselves: let us go and make war on the gentiles around us."

1Maccabees was written in the second century B.C.E. and describes the revolt of the Jewish people under the leadership of Matathias and his five sons, the most famous of whom is Judas Maccabeus. The soldiers speaking in the above quote have been duly impressed by Judas' astonishing victories over forces five to ten times as numerous as his own. They are stirred to imitate him. Unfortunately, their intentions are way off. They are not following God, but instead seeking their own glory. As a result, they are doomed to failure.

I think I spent the first half of my life going after the glory. It wasn't fame per se, necessarily, that I was aiming for. I was never particularly ruthless in my ambition, and I imagined there would be benefits to others, but it wasn't about them, it was for me. It was to gratify that inner longing to be seen and recognized. What I didn't understand, and am now just beginning to, is that seeking one's reknown, seeking to be known by the world, seeking to be seen and acknowledged by the people around us does not lead, ultimately, to the most rewarding life. I am very impressed when I come across younger people who have already figured this out. The most rewarding life, the one that Jesus of Christianity calls us to, is to live in service to God, to seek first His Kingdom.

I am reading a wonderful book by the Quaker Richard Foster on The Freedom of Simplicity. One point he makes is that outward simplicity begins with inner simplicity and it is this call to seek God first in all things which moves us toward that inner simplicity. If I have one call, one passion, one direction, that is, to seek God's will for me, rather than my will for myself, to seek His Kingdom first and foremost, that is a point of clarification. What things are unnecessary in the light of that intention? What things lose their importance in the light of that one, sacred purpose? He talks about obedience being the avenue to develop true humility, which leads us to the Joy and Peace that Jesus promises us, that God promises us. I don't think it was an accident that the biggest achievement of my career came after I returned to my faith. And even with that grounding, achieving what I had longed for was often powerfully able to pull me off my intentions, to push my focus away from where God was calling me. It's not that we achieve perfectly our purpose; that, frankly, is impossible. It's that, as Thomas Merton says, "I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you." It's an uncertain path, leading through dark woods, but we are led by the light of faith, and in that we must find hope and contentment.

Prayer: Dear God, I have been stumbling and losing my way. The requirements of life, the needs of the world have pulled me away from reaching toward You. Help me to keep my focus clear. Give me the tools to be mindful of You and where You are calling me. Give me insight to discern where I am serving Your Purposes, and where I am not, and give me the strength to say no to all that pulls me away from Your Path. Amen.