I'll gladly look like a fool

2Samuel 6:22

“Oh yes, I’ll dance to God’s glory—more recklessly even than this. And as far as I’m concerned…I’ll gladly look like a fool…but among these maids you’re so worried about, I’ll be honored no end.”

David is speaking to his wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter, who has criticized his extravagant dance before the Ark of the Covenant as he brought it home to Jerusalem. And it reminds me of something Paul said, about God using the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. My devotion to this path can indeed look like foolishness to others. I know many who believe that my staying in this relationship as long as I have was foolish. And there are many other ways that the command to love God first, and love others as oneself can look very foolish to those on the outside. But God invites us to be foolish, indeed, to be reckless in our foolishness, in the extravagance of our love toward God and toward others. Having been foolish, I can move forward knowing that I gave this relationship everything I had; that I can continue to love this other person even as I know that living together is impossible. I am not talking about the “love is blind” type of foolishness, where someone ignores the realities in front of their eyes. I’m talking about moving forward together knowing all the things that stand in the way, seeing clearly the emotional challenges and being willing to take them on, to give myself totally to living out love in my relationship, even at cost to myself. Having done that, though I may not have been able to please my partner, I have faith that I have pleased God. And ultimately that is more important.

Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for the loving concern I know you have for me, and for my partner. I am so grateful for your presence in my life, for your tender guidance like velvet ropes that lead me in the way to your heart. Give me courage as I move forward to continue in my foolishness; keep my heart open so that I can continue to pour out your love extravagantly into the world you have placed me in. And fill me with your peace as I continue to move through so many feelings over this ending. Amen.