Going to the same place?

Amos 3:3 Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?

Amos is laying out examples of natural consequences as a prophet foretelling judgment on both Israel and Judah, but this line got me thinking about relationships.

At the start of a relationship, people take hands, assuming they’re going to the same place. When their goals become clearer and still the same, they may marry. But what happens if, as they walk down the path of marriage together, they grow and change and start wanting to go to different places? Then, they start pulling on each other, each one wanting the other to join them on their path and what you can end up with is a full-on power struggle. What they don’t see is that their paths are diverging, that they need to let go, follow their paths and see if they come together again, at a different stage of life perhaps. I think of couples with small children, where one is working outside the home, and the other is immersed in a world of first diapers and feedings, then play dates, school, meals and so on. They both feel their contribution is undervalued, that the partner doesn’t understand their experience. Many will reconnect as the children get older, but other couples find themselves, after the children have left, with a partner they’ve completely lost touch with. Then they need to ask, “Are we headed in the same direction?”

It’s difficult to see when the road divides, and it gets harder and harder to hold onto the partner’s hand. A good question at that time might be, “Where are we going? Do we still want the same things in life? Or is it time to let go?”

Prayer: Dear God, You call us into relationship and I wonder, do You sometimes call us out of them as well? Help me discern the path that is best for both of us, that will call us both into a fuller, richer life in You. Amen.