This stone pillar is a witness

Genesis 31: 51-52 Laban continued to Jacob, “This monument of stones and this stone pillar that I have set up is a witness, a witness that I won’t cross this line to hurt you and you won’t cross this line to hurt me.”

What a bunch of tricksters in this family! Jacob tricks his brother out of his birthright. Rebekah helps him trick his father into giving him the blessing of the firstborn. Then Laban tricks Jacob into marrying Leah before Rachel and Jacob tricks Laban out of his sheep, and Rachel tricks Laban to keep him from finding the house gods she has stolen, and it goes on and on! It’s all come to a head, Jacob has taken off with his wives and children and flocks to return to the land of his father, and Laban’s looking for how he has been tricked again. When he turns up nothing that has been stolen, Jacob unleashes his pent-up anger about twenty years of slavish servitude. Finally, it is enough. They erect a pillar of stones as a testament to a new relationship based on trust and mutual respect, as a witness to a new policy of do no harm. They set up a boundary to regulate their new relationship, to define the border between their two lives.

Robert Frost once said, “Good fences make good neighbors.” (He also said something doesn’t love a wall, but that’s for another day.) That is similar to the idea expressed here. Boundaries are important for good relationships. Clarity about where you end and I begin helps differentiate what is my stuff from what is your stuff. Then I can take care of, or work on, what’s mine, and you do the same for what’s yours. Boundaries also tell us what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, what behaviors will be tolerated and which are not appropriate. Boundaries help us recognize where others are trespassing so we can call them to account. They also show up when we are trespassing against others, so we can hold ourselves accountable for our actions, repent and make amends. God is the witness who stands at the boundary, reminding us to live with integrity toward others, but also toward ourselves.

Prayer: Dear God, Boundaries are hard for me and I thank you for your divine reminder of their importance and benefits. Remind me that when I set a boundary in a relationship, I am honoring your Divine Spirit which dwells both of us and let that teach me to be firm and clear. Amen.