Who am I?

Ruth 2:10 She dropped to her knees, then bowed her face to the ground. "How does this happen that you should pick me out and treat me so kindly--a foreigner?" Ruth, my favorite book of the Bible, also the shortest. We are still in the time of the judges, but a very different view of people doing whatever feels right. Today, this verse hit me with a blast of emotion. I was touched by Ruth's humility, her awareness of her low status as a foreign born woman in an Israelite society, and her acceptance of that status, her heartfelt gratitude for Boaz' kindness. "Who am I," she is saying,"that you would bother with me?" That makes me think of Psalm 8:5a -- Who are people that you, God, should bother with us?. It reminds me of Mary and her response to the annunciation -- who am I, she is saying, to be blessed by God, exalted, in this way? And to me it's not a mean condition or groveling, but a realistic understanding of where Ruth stands, a full acceptance of that. Then there is room for wonder, gratitude, reflection on God's mercy in so many ways. If I can see myself in the fullness of God's plan, of the created universe, humbly accept the limited and lowly, even insignificant role I play in that larger scheme of things, then there is room for surprise, for wonder, for blessing. But if I approach life with a sense of my own importance, like a well-born aristocrat, someone who feels entitled to life's rewards, then there is no room for wonder and blessing and gratitude, which opens up the space for the other two. Instead, it's all about expectations being met or not met, and there's an inevitable sense of deprivation as a result. "Why isn't life being what I think it should be? Don't I deserve to have my expectations met?" It all gets in the way of being with what is, enjoying what is, experiencing life as it is. I so recognize that in myself, more in the past than now, but I still sometimes get caught in that trap. And the remedy? Humility. Get real about where I fit into all that is, my true relationship to God, whose nature is as far beyond mine as the potter's is beyond that of the clay. Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for the example of your daughter Ruth, in her graciousness and humility. Help keep my spirit humble. Above all, help me notice when I get off track, when expectations get me seeing my life as half empty rather than half full and lead me back to your path of humility, acceptance and grace. Amen